TV's Ugly Betty - a hummer in the first five minutes

No more "brown bunny" reference?

Hummer ... that's so 2002.

 

"Well, remember when I took Britney's picture while those dogs were making puppies?....."

 

Oh, and btw, my wife and I said nothing, though we (including me) have had a surprising number of talks with her about sexual issues (she isn't near being sexually interested, but she talks about stuff). On the child-adult scale for 12 year olds, my daughter and her friend are nearer the child stage than adult stage.

 

But that wasn't really the question, Buck. It was this: should it be screened to a bunch of 12-year-olds without any warning or notice that something like that's coming up for the parents (who are still responsible for how their kids develop and may not be so hot for the idea of them seeing something like this).

Also:

Using this, is there any limit to what taboos should be allowed for the sake of not making kids think it's a big deal? If drugs and alcohol were legal, would you permit open and limitless use of them, so long as you educate them afterwards? I mean, I know "moral" grates on a lot of people's nerves, but at some point if you're raising kids, don't you set boundaries based on what they should know at the times of their lives it's most appropriate?

There's a point also in your post about sex that I would like to hit on, but not enough time with weekly deadlines looming. I'll try and remember to get to it Monday.

 

Sounds like a good show to me.

 

You can try to ... but they're going to learn a helluva lot more "at times of their lives when it's NOT appropriate" than they are at any type of set boundary time, no matter how lenient the boundary.

So I don't think you can expect to stick by those standards, not realistically. I think the best bet is to explain things to them as situations come up. (Also, you can force the situation to come up if, for instance, your child hasn't asked you any questions about sex before they're 10 or 11. That's when you should go to them.) ... But encourage them to ask questions. And ask questions to them. Easier to answer the questions they have, and involve them in the conversation ... plus, they'll get more out of it, which is the whole point.

 

How's he gonna explain the future eight-streamer reference to his daughter?

 

Isn't it easier to set the paramaters before they get there, though? I understand that kids, being kids, are going to steal a cookie from the jar or get shitfaced at the Snow Dance afterparty or whatever; that's not a point I'd even try to debate. But why not tell them "alcohol before 21 is bad, and so is alcohol to excess" and then explain why, then react if they fuck up and get drunk, as opposed to introducing them to the concept after they've done something that they had no idea was wrong? I don't doubt that kids are going to do something like that regardless of what you do to prepare, but isn't it more likely they'll venture into that territory if they don't see a border there?

 

And how's she going to handle seeing a woman keep all that change?

 

Buckweaver, give me the speech you'd use.

 

Well, Brittney and Amanda, I'm so concerned about TV and 12 year-old girls that maybe I shoulda turned the channel when the warning came on about adult dialogue. I screwed up, especially letting a 12-year-old watch something with adult content without consulting her parents first. Boy is my face red. :

 

Kids -- and hell, adults too -- are more likely to do something if they're forbidden to do it. Telling them alcohol before 21 is absolutely "bad" is just going to encourage them to do it. Better to say alcohol before 21 is against the law, and there are consequences to breaking the law.

Don't *wait* 'til they do something wrong to explain it to them. I think you should establish a border, as you said. But be realistic about what those boundaries are -- that is, drinking's not bad; drinking to excess is. Drinking to avoid your problems is.

Too many people delude themselves or their kids into thinking that drinking before 21 is bad, so their kids shouldn't be doing it. The reality is, they're probably going to do it anyway. So educate them -- before they learn the hard way, if possible -- about how to drink appropriately.

Same with sex. Same with drinking. Same with anger/fighting. Same with anything that can be abused or misused.

Teach them what's a healthy behavior and what's not, and PREPARE them to make smart decisions ... on their own. Because a parent's job is not to protect their kids; it's to prepare them. In the rush to "protect the kids," we often lose focus of preparing them to be adults.