Transitioning to family life

Oh, man I know what that's like... You spend four hours cleaning and then two little kids run through the place like a hurricane. Every meal requires vacuuming afterwards and all that fun stuff...

The laundry is just neverending...

 

Our dog (Chocolate Lab) strenuously disagrees that small children making a mess at meal times is a bad thing.

He would be a fat brown bastard if we did not run him so much given all of the food he picks up off the floor.

 

You guys are hilarious. The other day, mine threw his food all over the ground. I think it was taco meat and cheese. We went outside afterward, and I said to my wife, "Oh, my God, we have to go in there and clean all that up."

She said, "No, we don't. The dog will do it."

Meals are so stressful. If you are not vigilant for one second, there's sure to be a glass of milk all over the table. Yogurt in the hair. And on and on.

 

I am not exaggerating when I say my dog is like a crackhead jonesing for his next fix when it comes to food. The idea that he would actually wait for a certain time to check for crumbs is laughable.

We have a spot he has to lay during meal time or else he would stand sentry under the table right by my daughters toes waiting for the snacks to hit the floor.

 

They make these cloths for the kitchen, one side is like a washcloth and the other side has the texture of one of those plastic scrubby things. I've lost track of the number of times I've had to crawl underneath the table and scraps tomato sauce or ketchup off the floor.

 

It must be in the genes!! Our choco lab does the same thing!! Nah all dogs are like that. I make her lay down as well, cannot stand seeing dogs beg at the table.

 

Struggling with this one too. Never thought having so much free time would seem like a curse.

 

Housework
Crazy meals
Laundry
Yardwork
Doing things with friends


Pick the things you can control in regard to the house, yard and meals. If a kid spills milk, clean it up and don't go crazy. If he does it repeatedly then obviously it's something to correct. Thank God for plastic sippy cups and juice boxes.

The laundry is just ... my God. I want to wear slip-on loafers and a zip-up jumpsuit like an 88-year old man every day. Two colors, blue and tan. No underwear or socks. The laundry is just insane with kids.

You have to plan time to do things with friends, individually, and also with your spouse without the kids. Otherwise, you'll go bananas. Family first but don't ignore the value of hanging with the guys watching a game, shooing the wife out the door with her friends or going out on date night together.

If you have kids, enjoy every second of it. Even the crazy times. They will go by in a flash and you'll wonder where the time went.

 

yeah, i hear that.

i'm married with an almost 4 year old and a seven month old. our marriage sometimes seems rocky and we both sometimes wonder aloud if it will last. but when i think it through, i can't even fathom what it would be like if i suddenly was single again and without custody of my children. i have no idea how i would spend my non-working, non-sleeping time. literally, there isn't even really anything specific that i wish i could be doing if my family somehow evaporated.

and the thing is, i have no desire to do the things i did when i was single and childless. when i think about it, i am confident that the ups and downs of parenthood and marriage are what i want. it's conceivable that we may not stay married, but inconceivable to me that i wouldn't continue to have "daddy" as an ingrained part of my identity. and as probably the most significant part of my identity as well.

 

Two words of advice: Multitask and Prioritize.

Sounds absolutely ridiculous, I know, especially when you're exhausted. But it's helpful.

We have to do laundry every day, otherwise it piles up. But I do it when I have something else to do. Throw the laundry in the wash, then vaccum and clean the living room. Or mow the lawn. Or go out somewheres for errands. Come back, switch it over to the dryer, do another chore. Or play with your kid.

And don't worry too much about folding your clothes neatly unless you have to be at the laundromat. And even then, I used pillow cases. It's a waste of time to fold, unless it's a very fancy outfit. What we do is have separate laundry baskets for each person in the house, plus another one for linens, and another one for socks. I pull clothes out, and just shuffle them into each basket. When full (after a few days, or at most a week), I put the clothes away. Usually, I'll have a ballgame on, or a show that I like, but not obsess about. Then the time goes faster.

Worried about dishes piled up? If you have a dishwasher, load it up during the day, then run it right before you go to bed. It washes while you're asleep. Or if you don't have one, soak the dishes in the sink overnight, then wash them while you make breakfast. Or, if it's too hectic, soak them for the day, then wash them while your food is cooking.

When my kids were babies, we'd put their bottles in a big pot of water and boil them for sterlization. I'd do that while handwashing my dishes. When the dishes were done, so were the bottles. Two chores out of the way.

And yes, you do have to priortize. Unless it's a big party or something where you have to have a clean house, most people understand that your house will be a little messy with kids. Just don't let it pile up too much.

It's tiring as hell, but you'll get the stuff done.

 

I was a bar guy for most of my kids' growing up, and I always found, from marriage on, that guys gave me shit about leaving things -- or passing on them -- to go to the wife, but I don't remember hearing shit about leaving things -- or passing on them -- when it came to the kids.

Even clueless guys (mostly) understand the kid thing.

Given all the time I spent in bars, I was hardly a selfless , completely devoted father, but when my kids needed me, I was there, and I think that would be their consensus, too. At least they still SEEM to like me.

 

*sniff*