To be calling or not to be calling

Sup fools. I did a job interview about two weeks ago or so. They seemed pretty interested in me at the time and sounded like they wanted to make a hire sooner rather than later (which describes pretty much every paper in America trying to get a job filled in August). But thus far, I've heard nothing. ME said I could call anytime, but I don't want to be a pest, because I know those folks are hard at work, and I don't want to be thought of as the whiny fatass who can't wait 45 seconds for his flash-fried buffalo. Plus which I'm a little scurred to call because I fully expect them to say "we're not hiring you because you smell and you're ugly and you fail at life." At the same time, I'd like to know what the dillio (dilly-yo? dilly-o? dealy-o? Coolio?) So much like when I'm in line at the Dairy Queen and it's down to the Oreo Cheesequake Blizzard or the Caramel Chip Cheesequake Blizzard, I'm at a life-altering crossroads with no clear direction. What say ye?

Okay, apparently people don't appreciate sugar-fueled prose the way they once did. So let's try again:

Greetings, fine SportsJournalists.com patrons. In the neighborhood of a fortnight ago, I conducted an interview with a newspaper that wishes to evaluate my fitness in filling an open sports writer position. At the time of the interview, they seemed quite enthused about my joining their organization, then noted that due to the season, they were in need of offering the position in question post haste. However, as of this writing I have yet to receive a communicae from the gentlemen with whom I spoke. The managing editor of the publication informed me that I would be most welcome to contact him with questions or information pertinent to the position and its fufillment, but I am fearful that an intrusion would be accepted more readily in theory than in application, for the management of the publication is quite busy with their appointed tasks, and my attempt to communicate would be construed as youthful impertinence, as though I could not bear to wait for my roasted wild boar to be prepared. Not only that, but I am fearful that, should I gather the gumption required to make this tele-phone call, I might be forthwith informed of my no longer being considered for the esteemed role I wish to assume, with remarks directed to me about my odor, my phsyical attributes and my inability to succeed at the exercise of existence. But despite my previous assertations, I should like to know my status with these gentlemen. Therefore, much as I would be when faced with the unenviable dilemma of which frosty dessert to acquire, I am presented with a decision of some consequence. At this point, I would like to request the denizens of this gathering place to assist me with my quandry. Thank you, and good day!

And for those of you patient enough to deal with my lame-ass attempts at humor: I interviewed for a job two weeks ago and have heard nothing. Should I call them?

 

Was that English?

 

No hablo inglés, señor. ¿Usted justo llamó mi burro un amante de Elvis?

 

uh, if the ME said to call at any time, grow a spine and call. i can't tell how much of your intial post is tongue-in-cheek but if you really are chicken call when you think he's probably in the news meeting and leave a voicemail. e-mail is also a good unobtrusive way to get in touch obviously.

 

Man, that was like reading Cockdian with punctuation...

 

Send him an e-mail. Tell him you appreciated the interview and just wanted to know when you'll hear something. It's less intrusive, so you're not bugging the guy when he's about to head into a staff meeting or just getting off the phone with a pissed off parent.

 

A day or two after the interview would have been a good time to send a thank-you e-mail. If you didn't, that ship has sailed, but send it now anyway and use it as an excuse to ask if there is anything else they need from you.

 

That was my thinking as well, that thanking them for the interview at this point would seem clumsy. But I think I'll take y'all's advice and do so, in hopes of getting SOME response.

 

if that doesn't work, try: "milk me dry biotch."

from my experiences, perspective employees like that one, a lot.