Think gas prices are high now? Wait until 2010

I'm sure our sportswriter salaries will increase accordingly.















HA!

 

Yes, but that's because our salaries will go up $1.20 an hour while we're expected to write the stories, take the photos, layout the pages, print the pages, deliver the newspaper to customers, take out their trash, tell them they make a wonderful beef stew, then go back to the office and change the lightbulbs, fill the vending machines, answer the phones, sell ads, evaluate distribution and come up with cost-cutting ways of doing more with less.

But that $1.20 extra? Boy, that's going to be sweet.

 

I'd love 30 cents a mile! We have this stupid sliding scale based on how high the price of gas is but it doesn't account for anything over $2.70 and caps out at 23 cents.

 

There's going to be a panic in this country that you only read about in the books. All this is just the rumble of the thunder.

Go to a bar and keep your ear open, listen to the utter dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

 

Food/energy shortages, which could lead to riots and looting, scare the shit out of us grocers.

I plan on buying another shotgun and a shitload of rounds sometime in the next year. Realistically, we know we'll lose the store in the event of a real panic.

 

That's interesting. Have you actually worked out plans for such events, Rex?

 

Drill, drill, drill. Burn, burn, burn more gas. Roast the whales, burn down the forests, fill the oceans with crude. Drive all the way to the bank in your 2-MPG Super Mongo Hummer.

It's good for the economy, and it's good for America. [/Oilpublican Party platform]

 

Look, you can argue that the cost of drilling in the Alaskan wilderness will outweigh its benefits.
That's a defensible position.
But it's a bit silly to keep making the case that finding more oil in America wouldn't help ease the problem of the U.S. having to import too much oil. It makes no sense. How much it will bring down the cost is impossible to determine. It's a guess, just like this fellow predicting $10 gas.

 

I have a question for all of the people who don't think we should drill for oil in places we know it's available.

What is your alternative to fixing the problem?

 

Seriously, there has to be an alternative energy source. I'm starting to think in a conspiracy theory kind of way that the government is hiding these alternatives from us.

I've said it before, the combustible engine and cars were invented with as little technology as possible. Now, we have more technology than ever before, we can clone sheep — and humans! — but can't build a car that runs on water, electricity, solar power, whatever.

 

build cars that run on something other than oil to save the limited oil supplies for heating and making plastic.

 

I know. It astounds me that nothing has been invented. I don't understand it.