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There's a reason we have "third world" countries

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Yawn, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. JayFarrar

    JayFarrar Well-Known Member

    Catholic Encyclopedia says that the Virgin Mary was most likely either 13 or 14 at the time of the birth of Jesus. If she was 13, the Holy Spirit may have filled her with seed before she was even a teenager.
    So how is that different?
    Some speculation says that the virgin in Virgin Mary was because she was actually pre-pubescent.
     
  2. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    Not if goddess branding of some 12-year-old was a tradition dating back hundreds and hundreds of years in Robertson's faith.
     
  3. Yawn

    Yawn New Member

    Well, last I checked, this 12 year old Nepali didn't begat Jesus or anyone resembling him.

    Anyway, anything relative to the existence of Christ is probably discarded in FenPhen's spun Catholicism.
     
  4. Still not funny.
    I got the pool locked up.
     
  5. Yawn

    Yawn New Member

    FenPhen, when it comes to humor, I'm the guy on the left vs. you and Zeke. The sad thing, however, is any attempt to compare you two to U.S. military personnel....

    http://www.independentcritics.com/images/goodmorningvietnamSPLASH.jpg
     
  6. Yawn

    Yawn New Member

    Whoa, I hate to hijack a thread, but I started the original thread anyway.

    But this is too good: Just hacked FenPhen's computer for his daily agenda:

    Early in the AM:

    The alarm goes off, waking our libby up. The libby rubs his/her eyes with the last dream they had fresh in their mind. It was a dream where America is completely Atheist, nobody judges anyone for anything, counseling is always the punishment, wealth is distributed evenly, and the kids have more rights than the parents. The libby smiles to his/her self and gets ready for the day.

    During the Libby's breakfast, they hear a news report of a man being beaten nearly to death because he was, not only a gay, but a minority as well. The Libby goes into a rage and thinks the bigot that committed this terrible act should be punished. The news switches to another story. The story is about a rich white man who was beaten nearly to death, by a black person, for his money. The Libby sheds a tear for the offender and starts muttering to his/her self about the poor disadvantaged person who is forced to commit such acts to survive.

    Before the Libby is off to work, he/she catches a glimps of the latest cartoon in the New York Times. It's a cartoon that creatively makes fun of Christianity. The Libby laughs, thinking about the wonderful greatness of free speech in America; but thinks the cartoon B.C. should be banned.

    Late in the AM:

    On the way to work, the Libby passes a group of Islamics protesting about how evil America is. The Libby gets a satisfied smile on his/her face and keeps on driving. A little further down the road, the Libby sees a Christian cross out in a field overlooking the ocean. The Libby suddenly has their day ruined as they go into a rage over how offensive that darned Christian cross is to people; especially Islam. The Libby makes a mental note to demand that thing gets torn down.

    The Libby arrives at work, but before entering passes by someone who it is obvious has just arrived from their private life onto the work area. The person smells like smoke. The Libby shakes his/her fist to the Heavens and announces loudly that the person smells like smoke, and be darned if the offender smoked offsite in their own home! The Libby shakes his/her fist to the sky as they race into the office building. It's a good thing this particular Libby is the own here, because he/she has just got an idea. This Libby is now going to have people randomly tested at work. If they show they have smoked, regardless of it being in their private life, they will be fired. This Libby has decided to also fire people if they are over a certain weight. You see, the Libby doesn't feel this is an intrusion into private life. However, a mother listening in on her daughter's phone conversation with a robbery suspect boyofriend is a violation of personal rights.

    Lunch Time:

    It took the rest of the morning, but the Libby got his/her new ideas down for controlling their worker's private lives. It's time to kick back a moment, have a bite to eat and go over the stats for the day. You see, this particular Libby controls a business that watches over the natural environment and agonizes over threats like acid rain, toxic waste, deforestation, etc. But the Libby is totally oblivious to threats to the social environment (pornography, promiscuity, and family dissolution).

    While looking outside, the Libby sees the Islamic protesters have made it to his/her street. One of them pulls out an American flag and burns it. The Libby witnesses this and thinks, go free speech! A second later, someone shouts "stop disgracing America sand dweller". The Libby immediately goes into rage, thinking that person needs sensitivity training and should pay the Islamic restitution. In the next second, someone comes up to the flag burner and shoots them dead. Now our Libby is outraged; thinking that the NRA helps criminals, but the ACLU protects the innocent.

    Afternoon:

    An Islamic riot has started over the shooting, temporarily stalling our Libby from getting back home. But our Libby is not upset, because he/she feels a race riot is a justifiable expression of rage. While waiting for the chance to get home, the Libby catches word of a protest. It is a protest of whites protesting a protest of illegal mexicans wanting to have our freedoms. This just adds on to the anger the Libby has already built up today; he/she can't believe how racist those white people are acting.

    The Libby is finally able to go home. While going home, the Libby passes a school and smiles. He/she knows that no prayer was in that school today, because that would be an invasion of rights. But he/she is also smiling knowing that, without parental consent, the kids are being taught how to use condoms and reading "Heather has two mommies". This, of course, is not invasion of rights in our Libby's mind.

    Before reaching home, the Libby stops off at a bar and goes inside. The Libby is happy, because the person that owns this bar has had his/her right taken away to let customers smoke in the bar; never mind that a bar is not like a family establishment.

    Evening:

    The Libby gets home, cooks a meal, and sits down to watch the evening news. On the news they show that there are Muslims, who work in at Target, who refuse to checkout anyone who is buying pork products, this is because of religious beliefs. The Muslims are catered to and given different jobs. The Libby thinks this is great to accomodate them. The next news program shows a protest of people who want Creationism taught in schools. The Libby smiles to his/her self, thinking "sorry, your kids have no choice but to learn evolution and we will not accomodate them because of their religious beliefs".

    Before switching off the news and getting ready for bed, up pops some breaking news about a murderer who will be put to death. The Libby shakes their fist at the screen, calling the death penalty murder. He/she then goes up stairs smiling about the upcoming trip he/she will be taking with their best friend who just had an abortion.

    The Libby prepares for bed and tucks themselves in for the night. Just before falling asleep, the Libby's last thought is those child-abusing, religious fanatics at Waco had it coming but the illegal immigrants roughed up by California deputies (after leading them on a highspeed chase) are the victims of the decade. While asleep, the Libby dreams of an America where the only acceptable hate crime, is Christian bashing.
     
  7. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    I will never, ever understand how some ultra-conservatives see the Branch Davidians as martyrs.
     
  8. Yawn

    Yawn New Member

    It was the contrast between the two.

    God, you could have been a Clinton political strategist with your way of spinning and re-interpreting.
     
  9. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    No spin, just something that sprung to mind when you referenced it.
     
  10. Yawn

    Yawn New Member

    Too bad. Che's top handler was on hold to get your contact info.
     
  11. jgmacg

    jgmacg Guest

    Reaganomics! Comics! Islamics! More rapier satire from the second-shift fry cook at the Waffle House!
     
  12. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    Yawn gets his motor started...

    [​IMG]
     
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