There's a car blocking my driveway...

It's already been ticked about an hour and a half ago ... how long before I can ask for it to be towed?

 

About as long as it takes to call the police and ask it. If you can't get out of your driveway, that's pretty much all you need.

 

And slash the tires while you're at it.

 

Better yet, pee on the door handles. They won't notice it, but you'll know. You'll know.

 

This is where a Hummer would come in handy.

 

Yes, but I would call the hooker after calling the tow truck. Tow trucks take a while to show up.

 

Yeah, but he's got time to kill now.

 

broth, you're way too polite. i'd have given it about 20 minutes, max. maybe 5 if i was in a hurry.

 

Called the local police a while ago and they said since there was technically enough space to get my car though, they can't legally have it towed. Considered doing it myself, then thought otherwise.

I'm pretty interested in pissing on the handles though. That, or the good ol' fashioned banana in the tailpipe.

 

Pour some sugar... in the gas tank!

Yeah, it won't move the car, but the asshole won't park there again.

Plus it can give you plausible deniability.

 

Both the banana and sugar tricks have been proven ineffective by the Mythbusters. Tracer bullets fired from a proper distance at the gas tank will, however, make the car explode.

 

Just remember, whatever you do to the car. They KNOW where you live and what you drive.
Stealth should be a top priority. Piss on the handles. Or give it a stink palm ...