There is nothing worse . . .

There are so many pussy, ATM jokes here, but I will decline.

 

...than being tied up in a secluded place at the mercy of a cruel torturer.

Unless of course your bartender doesn't know how to make a proper cosmo.

 

Dude, Vodka Collinses kick Tom Collinses asses. Period.

 

And Michael Collins would kick the shit out of both of them.

 

But I didn't order a Vodka Collins. I ordered a Tom Collins, which I prefer. He should've known that.

 

Whose boyfriend?

 

I think when someone makes a "Four Horsemen" wrong, it really pushes my buttons. It's not that hard to make well. A "Dead Nazi" can be messed up if the Jager is chilled properly.

 

How could anyone screw up a Four Horsemen?

That's like ruining a Blind Squirrel

 

They either put way too much 151 rum in, or not enough Jager.

 

Both of them

 

I hate it when someone trys to make my 7 and 7 with Sprite.

 

I don't want to try a Cosmo.

If I do, I'll probably be even more clumsy than I was in December!