The Summer Met PR Disaster Is Upon Us

It's not sunmer unless the NY Mets have a sexual pr disaster that engulfs their season. Johann Santana you're up:

http://www.tmz.com/2010/06/23/new-york-mets-johan-santana-pitcher-sexual-battery-florida-rape/

 

Look on the bright side. At least Steve Phillips wasn't with the team during his scandal...

 

"WEIRD SEX ACT ON GOLF COURSE!" -{NY Post}

And I eagerly await the Post's Page Six cartoon on this alleged drama. Maybe something involving Santana and Tiger.

 

David Cone doesn't see the big deal.

And I love it. Mets PR disasters are my crack.

 

There's a job right up your alley listed on the Jobs board.

 

The Thigh Master just released a statement. I'm just gonna go ahead and give this the JRC treatment it deserves.

"I'm aware of the situation," (of course you are, you were there ejaculating on her thigh) Santana read from a pre-written statement (that was proofread by Dwight Gooden and Daryl Boston). "What I can tell you is that police have investigated these claims last year, (once again lil' Jeffy sent Dave Howard down to Florida with a blank check) and I was never charged with anything (Money Shot: It's not just for the golf course anymore!), and the case is closed (unlike my zipper). Unfortunately at this time, that's all I can say. And I have no further comments. (What a redundant fucker, clearly this part was written by Horwitz. Hey does anyone want to go play putt-putt?)."

 

Spnited getting caught in back of panel truck smoking dope with Mr Met and Joan Payson is still my favorite but there has been some gems.

Vince Coleman fire cracker story was hidden gem also.

 

Hell of a write up in The Daily News:

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/mets/2010/06/23/2010-06-23_mets_ace_johan_santana_hit_with_rape_accusation_on_florida_golf_course_last_year.html

Loved this line:

"The Mets organization chimed in with a tin-eared statement of their own, calling the alleged crime "a personal matter."

Bizare sequence of events - it does appear that Johann has a lot of staying power:

The alleged assault happened on the evening of October 27 at a course located near a gated community in Ft. Myers, according to the police report.

The woman claimed she and Santana were strolling together when the pitcher suddenly "began to kiss her and pull up her top, unclasping her bra." Although she "told Johan no multiple times," Santana lifted her skirt and thrust his hands into her underpants, the report states.

The accuser claimed Santana then tore her skirt off and raped her while she "continuously told Johan 'no.'" The Mets hurler responded by bruising her right calf and "grabbed her hair" before he "ejaculated on her upper thigh," according to the report.

Instead of immediately calling the cops, the woman told detectives she "cleaned her thigh with her underwear."

She then wandered over to a tennis court "and continued to sit at the tennis courts as Johan played tennis with another person." Detectives later retrieved the clothes the woman wore

 

Coleman was a good one. But Johan Santana figured if Bret Saberhagen could spray bleach in the locker room why not spray the golf course.

 

You need a hobby.

 

Instead of immediately calling the cops, the woman told detectives she "cleaned her thigh with her underwear."

She then wandered over to a tennis court "and continued to sit at the tennis courts as Johan played tennis with another person."


So he rapes her and she chills out and watches him play tennis.
No wonder there were no charges filed.

 

You just now realized that?