The most mortifying moment I have ever witnessed.

Friday night, at a major (well, Division I-A football) college's musical performance hall, a season-ending show by the combined symphony and wind symphony.

In the crowd: Lots of parents, mainly. A few high school seniors (bands do recruiting, too!) and a step-parent or two, like me.

Two songs into the show, a mournful number is dedicated to the Virginia Tech survivors, Classy move and an emotional moment.

End of the song ... and there's this odd noise that rises over the sound of the symphony, for just a moment.

I think to myself, cell phone? Nah, there's no way. Because the sound seemed to be coming from the stage.

Not possible.

Song ends, the band director leaves the stage to make way for the assistant band director, who'll direct the next song.

And then, that sound again.

Now, it's obviously a downloaded ringtone. And it gradually becomes clear that it is indeed coming from the stage.

The assistant band director stands on the director's platform for a moment – and the damned thing rings again.

Time stands still. Very, very still.

Now, he walks to the general vicinity of where the sound is coming from ... and the kid whose phone it obviously is denies that the sound is coming from him. The musicians on either side of him just shrug. They're not going to give him up, evern though they're pissed.

And it goes off again.

(Why not just turn it off? That part I don't get.)

The assistant band director basically tells the kid to get the hell off the stage. The young man – a sax player, for what it's worth – eases to the rear of the stage and out. Goodnight, everybody!

The assistant band director leads the group through the next number.

The band director comes back out and basically saves the night.

"Well, that was certainly an uncomfortable moment, when the cell phone rang.

"There's good news and bad news.

"The bad news is that it's surely the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me or to this group on this stage.

"The good news? We have the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened out of the way. It's past. Now, we can go on."

Big hand from the crowd, show goes on.

My stepdaughter says the sax player, who is not a music major, was already flunking band for the semester – which is damned hard to do if you'll just show up. She was unclear what would happen next.

I gotta figure there's an opening for a sax player, at the least.

 

At least it wasn't a Pez dispenser.

And nice recovery by the assistant.

 

The Jack In The Box commercials where Jack's son announces he's a vegetarian are pretty mortifying ... to Jack.

 

Maybe you can post that opening in the Job thread, and put like "New York Times Sports Writer" with it.

 

Well, there's a sax player singing the blues. :

 

I expected a story far more gruesome than this. Fortunately, it's not.

 

So some college dumbass, who already has proven stupid enough to be failing band, doesn't have the sense to turn off his cell phone during the concert.
That's not mortifying, that's a moron.

If that is the most mortifying moment you have ever witnessed, you must live in a fucking cave.

 

What if he has?

 

My favorite commercials, especially the one in the airport.

 

That one and the one with Matt Doherty in the same airport. 8)

 

I've seen a guy killed before. That was shocking.

I've had a gun pulled on me. That was ... capable of focusing my attention quite nicely.

I was next door to the Atlanta park bombing. That was intense, and a long night.

I dunno, "mortifying" – "cause to experience shame, humiliation, or wounded pride; humiliate" – seemed like the right word. I'll stick with it, and return to my cave.

 

WHAT? ...NOT COOL!