The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 8-12)

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

Jones has big feet?

And I have to admit ... I thought dramatic hamster was a squirrel. See, it's these kinds of observations that got me mad tail in high school.

Or not.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

It's actually a prairie dog.

But I'm contemplating changing it. Don't tell bigpern.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

Prairie dog ... squirrel ... whatever ... they all live underground.

No wait. Dammit ...

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

So was I ... so much so, I really can't answer the first question. I don't imagine it would've taken much of a push for IJAG to laugh at folks, though.

As for the second:

My ideal mate would be a woman who is kind, patient, caring, intelligent, quick-witted, can at least appreciate soccer, likes to travel and is not in any way, shape or form a morning person.

If that fails, I'll have what Double Down is having.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

Obviously a fan of Star 80

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

My last prom involved double dating with two best friends and the four us spending the night at the house of one of the girls, who I will call "Tina."

Tina's grandparents, two truly scary rednecks, were there. Tina and her friend, Molly, slept up in Tina's bedroom, while the other guy and I slept in the living room.

I awoke around 6 a.m. to see some shadowy something or other in the foyer. Upon closer inspection, it was Tina's grandfather, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. "What a Bud?" was all he said to me.

Hilarity ensued about 2 hours later when a moving truck showed up. Turns out Tina's mom, Judy, and her stepfather, Barry, were getting divorced and Barry had come with a moving crew to take his furniture out of the house.

You can guess the rest. A hellacious argument ensued over what belonged to who. Judy opened a bottle of champage and poured us all drinks, after which she hurled her glass against the fireplace and asked us to do likewise. Barry went crazy.

Grandma, who was in a walker, began cursing him out and shortly thereafter, Judy went to the makeshift kennel they had in the basement, collected some accumulated dog shit, walked out to the front yard and began throwing it at Barry.

I left just before the police arrived.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

My perfect mate: it doesn't exist because I have expectations that are too high for anyone to meet
: : :

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 7-31)

NEW QUESTION:

If you had to identify the worst hotel room you have ever stayed in, where was it?




Mine was a random Days Inn I passed on my way back from a road trip that I stopped at for some sleep before continuing. A/C wouldn't cut off, the bed felt like bricks, and I'm pretty sure the towels hadn't been changed in a couple visits.

Ick.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 8-1)

The Royal Inn in Abilene, Texas.

I can't even explain.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 8-1)

Tie between the now departed Camelot Inn in Wauwatosa, Wis. and a Days Inn in Columbus, Ohio. Honorable mention goes to a Comfort Inn in Evansville, Ind.

Checked out of both for massive decay. Holes in the wall in both, A/C didn't work in either, TV was busted. Never got to the point of towels, bed issues, etc., but the horrors can only be guessed. Both places were dumps, the Camelot Inn was one of those mid 60s era hotel/motels that looked like a place where a drug deal would go down from GoodFellas. The Days Inn was just a suburban dump, complete with a brawl in the hallway when I checked in.

The honorable mention goes to the Comfort Inn as housekeeping clearly hadn't taken care of a dumped-out soda in my room at some point. I'm laying on the bed eating some food after a game and I notice an ant on my arm. Then I noticed a few more near the corner of the bed by the end table. I look down and there was about a hundred of them frolicing in a desecated, dried up spilled soda.

Needless to say, I went medieval on the front desk.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 8-1)

It would have to be the Motel 6 in Laramie, Wyo., where they handed me the key to a room that hadn't been made up yet — at 1:30 a.m. Honorable mention to a StayInn USA (or some such) in Kearney, Neb., that was just in awful shape.

 

Re: The (maybe) triumphant return of: If... (updated 8-1)

Unidentified motel, middle of West Virginia in the middle of a blizzard.