The many reasons why Milwaukee sucks

Those with meat in our freezers?

 

Something like that...and ew.

 

I remember being in a French 101 class back in 1993 ... anyway, we were learning that the French word for "avocado" was the same as the word for "lawyer." In an effort to provide the contexts for us to learn, the prof said, "you wouldn't put a lawyer in a refrigerator."

I chimed in with, "unless you're Jeffrey Dahmer."

His response amid the laughter of the class was immediate: "You're weird." Cue more laughter.

 

I saw the movie, and I believe ate a late-night snack afterward. It probably wasn't a burger, though.

 

Because it's a city that Alice Cooper spent time discussing its history with his band at a party in front of two guys who have their own public cable access show.

 

Because the Bucks don't play at The Mecca anymore. That had one of the coolest hardwoods in basketball with those off-colored diamonds.

 

Their hockey team has a creepy logo:

 

There was a movie about Dahmer? Who the hell would want to play that role?

 

Take a look at that neck. Spree did it, but I blame Milwaukee.

 

The smell of the yeast plants.
The smell of the hops plants.
The smell of the Ambrosia Chocolate plant, where Dahmer worked, and where he once kept a heart in his locker.

 

I always wondered why Chicago was so damn windy.