The greatest U.S. Senate candidate of all time

I give you Mark "No NCAA" Townsend, (D)-Alabama.

http://www.sessionsisasissy.com/

You think this is a joke? This is not a joke. That is how his name will appear on the ballot.

http://www.al.com/newsflash/regional/index.ssf?/base/news-35/1207348745182560.xml&storylist=alabamanews

 

He's got my vote.

 

For the record, I'm not the one who came up with the guy's URL. Just wanted to make that clear.

 

This is my favorite part:

Well that and the fact he wanted to go by "No NASCAR Restrictor Plates" but it was too long for the ballot.

 

You gotta admit, if he's against the NCAA and restrictor plates he's got a firm grip on the important issues.

 

I'd vote for a yellow dog before I'd vote for Jeff Sessions ... if I were a bammer, of course.

 

That's like in Smoky and the Bandit II, there was a sheriff who had "Kill a Communist" between his first and last names on a campaign sign.

 

Sad to say, our man finished well up the track. (Not that I was any help, taking a GOP ballot.)

http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2008/06/figures_to_face_tough_race_aga.html

 

Admit it. The only reason you took a republican ballot was so you could vote against Twinkle Cavanaugh -- endorsed by Mike Huckabee as a candidate with "family values" and "is pro-life." What that had to do with her spot in the Public Service Commission beat the shit out of me, but it was good enough for me to vote against her.

 

I bit my lip and voted for her anyway, on the grounds that she at least graduated from college*. But that commercial suck-diddly-ucked, even more than the other guy ranting about the liberals who won't let us use noocleer power.

The fact that the AEA's ringers in the school board race got trounced is what sends me to my happy place.

* Well, OK, Auburn.

 

That too, but Twinkie's commercials grinded my ample ass... can't miss the closing shot of her walking out of church with the family -- right in front of the sign that reads "First Baptist Church" so all the fine Christian folks can see she's a Bappis

 

We still haven't taught you to talk right. "Baptist" is clearly pronounced with a "D" right in the middle.