The end is near: my 6-year-old niece owns a cell phone

We aim to displease.

 

It's his fault.

 

I think it's soccer's fault.

 

Soccer does suck. We could easily blame it on soccer.

 

Not at a private school... don't like it? Don't go here...

 

CradleRobber's phone number.

 

You can place a toy phone in my dead right hand and an iPod in my left, because that's the only time I'll ever have inclination to use either. Or just shove one of them up my arse to stop any unnecessary post-mortem leakage.

 

Excellent...

 

No it's a public school. First time is a warning, after that the higher ups take the phone and require $15 to retrieve it. I just tell my kid to turn it off when he is in the building and put it in his locker. He's only 12, so he's not that important that somebody needs to get in touch with him yet.