The emails I get ...

Thought y'all might get a chuckle from this email ...

"Dear Professor Doctorquant,

My Name is Obviously Non-U.S. Applicant. I would like to peruse a PhD degree in blankety-blank at your department. Therefore, I would like to talk to you at your connivance."

Wonder if the "connivance" bit was intentional.

 

Good timing, I was going to start a similar thread.

I got a sales email yesterday from an online retailer, with this in the subject line: 'We're really not retarded, here's the correct coupon code!'

Bothered me all night. 'Retarded?' Someone got paid to come up with that? It's a site for trendy clothes, high end stuff. I want to respond. Any suggestions?

 

That's definitely where I was going. I would love to know if they got any response to that idiotic mail, or if most people just read through it (and probably use the term themselves 100 times a day).

 

I can't remember the specifics, but I got an email recently. I think it may be spam, but I'll let you decide. There was a young woman from Africa who inherited a fortune from her parents. Her murderous uncle was going after her wealth, so she wanted to transfer the money to the United States. Easy to guess that I deleted the email right after I read it.

 

Ask where to send your resume for the recent opening in the sales and marketing department.

 

A possible response: Thanks so much for sending this. In my role as business reporter at Metro Courier, I have been working on a story on how firms are using email in marketing these days. Hope you won't mind me using this in my story. Seriously, this was a huge help!

 

Either that, or ilmago decided to go for his PhD.

 

i'm a lawyer so i get moronic e-mails daily from people asking for free legal advice. if you legitimately have a case and want to talk things over and explain your whole situation, i'll give you a little bit of free legal advice. but for me to just randomly answer a question ("can i sue someone for x?") without knowing anything at all would probably be malpractice.

 

I actually got this letter when I was covering college football...

Dear Fuckface,

There are aborted fetuses that know more about football than you do.

Then it got really mean.

 

You had the 'Bama beat???

 

Mizzou, sorry about that one. Just thought your use of "anxious" when you meant "eager," even in a direct quote, was particularly unacceptable.