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The emails I get ...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by doctorquant, Dec 10, 2010.

  1. doctorquant

    doctorquant Well-Known Member

    Thought y'all might get a chuckle from this email ...

    "Dear Professor Doctorquant,

    My Name is Obviously Non-U.S. Applicant. I would like to peruse a PhD degree in blankety-blank at your department. Therefore, I would like to talk to you at your connivance."

    Wonder if the "connivance" bit was intentional.
  2. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    Good timing, I was going to start a similar thread.

    I got a sales email yesterday from an online retailer, with this in the subject line: 'We're really not retarded, here's the correct coupon code!'

    Bothered me all night. 'Retarded?' Someone got paid to come up with that? It's a site for trendy clothes, high end stuff. I want to respond. Any suggestions?
  3. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    "No, but my child is challenged and you just lost a customer."

    Try that.
  4. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    That's definitely where I was going. I would love to know if they got any response to that idiotic mail, or if most people just read through it (and probably use the term themselves 100 times a day).
  5. CRR13

    CRR13 Member

    I can't remember the specifics, but I got an email recently. I think it may be spam, but I'll let you decide. There was a young woman from Africa who inherited a fortune from her parents. Her murderous uncle was going after her wealth, so she wanted to transfer the money to the United States. Easy to guess that I deleted the email right after I read it.
  6. Captain_Kirk

    Captain_Kirk Well-Known Member

    Ask where to send your resume for the recent opening in the sales and marketing department.
  7. doctorquant

    doctorquant Well-Known Member

    A possible response: Thanks so much for sending this. In my role as business reporter at Metro Courier, I have been working on a story on how firms are using email in marketing these days. Hope you won't mind me using this in my story. Seriously, this was a huge help!
  8. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    Either that, or ilmago decided to go for his PhD.
  9. leo1

    leo1 Active Member

    i'm a lawyer so i get moronic e-mails daily from people asking for free legal advice. if you legitimately have a case and want to talk things over and explain your whole situation, i'll give you a little bit of free legal advice. but for me to just randomly answer a question ("can i sue someone for x?") without knowing anything at all would probably be malpractice.
  10. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    I actually got this letter when I was covering college football...

    Dear Fuckface,

    There are aborted fetuses that know more about football than you do.

    Then it got really mean.
  11. SpeedTchr

    SpeedTchr Well-Known Member

    You had the 'Bama beat???
  12. mediaguy

    mediaguy Well-Known Member

    Mizzou, sorry about that one. Just thought your use of "anxious" when you meant "eager," even in a direct quote, was particularly unacceptable.
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