The "Did I really just see that?" thread

I don't think I can top any of these. And this is a good thing, I think.

 

Couple years ago, one of our local high school football teams was heading down the interstate on their way to a game. Dude in front of them is hauling a couch in a pickup truck and it falls out. The bus driver, going about 70 mph, has no time to dodge it. Coach yells to his players to hang on and they smash into the couch.
Luckily, no one was hurt, the team got another bus and they continued on to the game.
Even weirder is, the coach of the team owns a restaurant. The next day, one of his regulars comes in and says he heard about what happened. Turns out, the customer's cousin was the guy hauling the couch.

 

I was heading to a baseball playoff game a couple months back in rural Mississippi and saw an Amish redneck. The guy was in a golf cart with a rebel flag draped across the seat, wearing a gray wife-beater and a cigarette dangling from his mouth.
And the golf cart was being pulled by a horse.

 

We may have a new leader.

 

That last line cracked my shit up. That's some good imagery right there.

 

Awesome. Totally awesome.

 

The deli below my apartment building in Manhattan was offering free blood pressure checks for a buck last week. Right on the counter, so when you pay for your chips and beer, you get your pressure checked as well, by the deli owner. The guy's business has gone down with a grocery store nearby, but I"m not sure this is the best way to make up the money.

 

I swear to God, I am going to Mississippi someday.

 

our budget for the last quarter

 

Tonight, I see a woman in her mid- to late-40s. She's heavily tanned and, probably, Botoxed. As she turned around to walk the other direction, I see she's got a tattoo on her left shoulder blade. The strap of her sundress was obscuring it, but as I got closer I could see it was a Nike Swoosh.

I don't know if this means Nike is sponsoring cougars or if she just really likes overpriced sneakers.

 

I'd put $10 on the fact that somewhere under it it said "Just Do Me."

 

Bzzzzt!

It was high enough on her shoulder that I could tell there wasn't any writing under it. And, honestly, she wasn't the type to go for a "Just Do Me" tatt. If they do a "Real Housewives of Redneckistan" she'd be one of them.