The Devil's Dictionary of Sportswriting

via Grantland: http://es.pn/YNkoQo

It's not as snarky as you might think, which is good because the industry criticisms don't require snark.

A few that I liked:

 

I liked:

insider (n.) — a beat writer or league writer, repackaged for the digital age. These days, there are NFL Insiders, Red Sox Insiders, and all kinds of insiders at ESPN Insider. An insider's job is to tweet out news a few seconds ahead of the competition.

 

Vein cutting (v.) -- pretending the writing process is so important that it is akin to spilling one's own blood.

 

courage (n.) — in sportswriting, two kinds of athletes are courageous: those who play hurt and those who play soon after the death of a loved one.

elite (adj.) — a quality Joe Flacco achieved on February 3, 2013.

 

As someone who doubles up as a reporter and photographer, the part I bolded made me laugh out loud at work.

 

Water carrier (adj.) -- someone who vehemently defends any great piece and the people who write them, no matter the quality.

APSE (n.) -- acronym for Associated Press Sports Editors. Best known for justifying free courtside seats for sportswriters.

 

To include TV sportscaster jargon, you'd have to add terms like "verticality" meaning how high an athlete can jump, usually as in "has great verticality." Or "white" usually described by analysts for NBA Draft as "not quick, but hard worker."

 

Let us not forget "long." On TV, no one is something as mundane as "tall."

 

If you use block instead of low post, you sound like a basketball guru.

 

Woulda-be (n.) -- A writer who continually misuses the word "would" to describe past action in the present tense. Ex: "Smith would score the game-winning basket."

 

Loved instant classic - close game a writer happened to see live (dead on)

I would have added a second def. for "kid" - a college athlete who screws up. A college athlete who does something good is called a "young man", see "molder of (coach)"

made a mistake - committed a crime

small market - any city outside of New York and L.A.

 

Curtis and Grantland needed to include the couple dozen links to provide context and examples. The source of most of those links, though, seems a bit disingenuous.

Of the 27 links, two were from USA Today, one was from the New York Times, one was from the Wall Street Journal and five more were from other newspapers; three were from Sports Illustrated and one more from another magazine; four were from Bleacher Report, three were from blogs, one was from Baseball Reference, one was from CBS, one was from NBC and one more was from a book.

And then there were three from ESPN and its subsidiaries, one of which was a joke about Grantland oral histories, another whose inclusion sought justification by preceding it with the fact that, hey, everybody else was saying it, too.

So 27 links, one legitimately, kind-of-sort-of poking fun at the parent company, which, of course, has had no role whatsoever in the spread and growth of almost all of the terms listed.

Yep. Sounds about right.