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The absolute worst small talk EVER

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by BYH, Dec 9, 2009.

Page 4 of 9
  1. Huggy

    Huggy Well-Known Member

    True dat.
     
    Huggy, Dec 9, 2009
    #37
  2. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    Thanks Moddy, the board youngsters care about you too! Even if you tried to use a 6-year-old condom! :D ;D
     
    mustangj17, Dec 9, 2009
    #38
  3. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Good Tebow, this gets worse by the post.

    Next up: Our favorite female posters on dildos.
     
    BYH, Dec 9, 2009
    #39
  4. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    As a living product of a broken rubber (true story), it is a subject I know all too well.
    It was advice from my folks: Buy quality rubbers. Hell, we ended up with you.

    There's an Indian name joke in there I will tell sometime.
     
    Moderator1, Dec 9, 2009
    #40
  5. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    "Moddy, how was I made?"

    "Well, you see, your mother and I loved each other very much and wanted to love each other so much a baby was made."

    "Really?"

    "Well, that and the condom I got in 1978 broke in 1984."

    EDIT: HA!!!! I was right! Well, off by a generation, but right!
     
    BYH, Dec 9, 2009
    #41
  6. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    (Sniff) I'm a product of a broken rubber too! (Sniff)

    (Don't know if that's true, but it could be, as my birthday is about seven months after my parents' anniversary)
     
    Bubbler, Dec 9, 2009
    #42
  7. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    About three years ago we were at Blockbuster.
    The kid at the register must have detected my lingering East Coast accent. He asked me where I was from.
    We were making small talk as he rang up our videos and he said he had just moved from Bakersfield.
    I told him he would surely like the area but we have nothing to compete with Buck Owens' Crystal Palace.
    The kid looks up at me - dead serious - and says: 'Buck Owens? I hate that motherfucker.'
    I was taken aback at his intensity and said 'Buck Owens? What's you're problem with Buck Owens?'
    The kid says: 'Buck Owens ruined my parents marriage. Buck Owens had an affair with my mom. My mom and dad got divorced and my dad killed himself.'
    The kid was really worked up.
    I told him: 'I'm sorry to hear that.'
    We left.
    That was the strangest small talk I have encountered.
     
    Buck, Dec 9, 2009
    #43
  8. dreunc1542

    dreunc1542 Active Member

    It's all put away in anticipation of that condom I got in 2004 breaking sometime in 2014.
     
    dreunc1542, Dec 9, 2009
    #44
  9. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Mine's like TWENTY FIVE YEARS after their anniversary and 10 years after the previous sibling.
    I was my dad's "still got it" baby. To his chagrin.

    So an Indian child goes to his grandmother and says, "What's up with our names? I go to school with Johns and Davids and Marys and Jills and we've got all this weird stuff."
    "Well," Grandma says, "in our tribe, it is tradition to name the children after something that has something to do with their conception. It provides for unique names that make you special. It's why your siblings are named Starry Night and Running Creek."
    "OK," the kid says, "I get it now. Thanks Grandma."
    "Anytime, Broken Rubber."
     
    Moderator1, Dec 9, 2009
    #45
  10. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    He'll be here all week, buy a subscription to VASportsNow.com!!!! :D :D :D
     
    BYH, Dec 9, 2009
    #46
  11. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    PICS OR GTFO!!!!
     
    dooley_womack1, Dec 9, 2009
    #47
  12. Trey Beamon

    Trey Beamon Active Member

    [​IMG]

    That's fantastic.
     
    Trey Beamon, Dec 9, 2009
    #48
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