Thanksgiving menu: turkey, cranberries and anal

This Thanksgiving is going to fucking suck. It just is. I'm trying to maintain a good attitude going into it, but I'm losing that battle.

First, this is going to be the first time we've seen my wife's whole family since my son's autism disagnosis, and at 3 he's started to become a lot more symptomatic. It's going to be superawkward as everyone tries to figure out exactly what level of comfortable they are talking about it.

First part two, both my brother-in-law and my wife's cousin have kids the exact same age as my son. No matter how hard I try, it's going to get to me to see them side-by-side.

Second, we'll be staying the three days at my brother-in-law's house. It was roughly a year ago at this time that his wife's family caught him on a date with another woman and it came out that he's been sleeping around pretty much all of their 10+ years of dating and marriage. They've been trying to make it work since then, but it's a lost cause and his wife admitted to my wife recently that things are really bad and they are just going to limp through the holidays for their son's sake and then figure out new arrangements.

 

Is anal oyster stuffing even a thing?

(Asking for a friend)

 

Yes. Oyster Rockerfeller.

 

Yes, as in if anyone dared to put that (oyster stuffing) in front of me at the dinner table, it would end up a foot up their ass.

 

Hopefully, I love Canadian Thanksgiving just as much. My girlfriend will be a bona fide U.S. resident next year, but we'll be sure to have two Thanksgivings, since it's my favo(u)rite holiday of the year.

In my family, there's never been any pressure or expectations, just show up and eat and bullshit and don't worry about what else you do (or, more specifically, don't do). As for hers? Just get drunk and don't punch her 92-year-old grandma. If I had to trade in Christmas for these two Thanksgivings, that would be more than fair.

 

Thank you both, very much.

Since Lou died exactly one year ago, my mother got an iPad, a boyfriend, and texting, in that order. I don't know what use she has for the first two, since the iPad is never charged and the boyfriend is possibly married, but the texting is something to behold. She texts in rhyme. Then she follows up with a phone call to make sure the text was received, and she reads it out loud in rap. ("Here's a text from me your Mom, showing I can use dotcom.")

Hope everyone has a great holiday.

 

I'm spending Thanksgiving by myself. I will start by opening a beer at 10 a.m. and watching Beerfest, just to get in the mood for the Texans-Lions game. Should be sufficiently sauced by the time the Skins and Boys start at 4. Might sneak in an episode of Homeland if I get bored with the games. Might go to the bar afterward. The only item on the menu is a spicy habanero sausage cheese dip.

This day is going to be glorious.

Everyone I know is feeling sorry for me for some reason. Look, Thanksgiving with family hasn't been an option for years now. I'm used to it. I cover college football, and damn if I don't have a 2 p.m. post-Turkey Day hoops game to deal with on top of it. I still have to crank out two stories tonight plus a Friday centerpiece. I've barely been home the last six days, and all I want to do is drink and watch football on Thanksgiving. I'm perfectly content.

 

There is almost no limits to the depths of my envy, Cosmo. Damn, that's a good deal.

 

I prefer whipped potatoes to the lumpy kind. But I don't hate the lumpy kind. It's all good.

And I'm fortunate. My grandmother on my dad's side always hosts Christmas breakfast at her house. Has for decades. And the main highlight is fried oysters. She does them with a batter, which is fine. Not my favorite, but they're still damn good. Between me, my dad and my cousins, that kitchen is a disaster by 11 a.m.

The night before, on Xmas eve, we do Xmas with the wife's family. Which works perfectly since we're never forced to be in two places at once on Xmas day. We always have a traditional dinner at her parent's place. Then, we walk across the street to her grandmother's house, where the men hang out in the kitchen drinking and eating raw oysters (the best way) and the women set up shop in the living room with the 400-degree heat thanks to the 400-year old wood stove.

This has absolutely nothing to do with Thanksgiving.

 

i came aboard just now to wonder where you've been hiding. relieved to read you're still here if i need you, 21.

now, my non-sequitor: mrs. shockey tells me middle son shockey is getting bummed out 'cause two regulars at out family gatherings (usually thanksgiving, passover and chanukah) won't be joining us for the most shocking, disturbing, mind-blowing reasons: the woman, sort of a big sister my mom invited to join us about 25 years ago (they taught english at laguardia h.s. (h.s. for performing arts, the 'fame' school) was beaten to death by her 19-year-old son in the spring. the son is for all intents and purposes treated like a cousin for our boys.

background: the son was diagnosed with one of those common manic-depressive conditions. it was seemingly under control with medication and he is fully-functioning -- was a freshman at fordham, a gf, all the normal things. but he apparently had an 'episode' in which he thought he was being attacked and went wild on his mom ith his bare hands. he was sobbing, 'mommy wake up!' when the cops arrived; to this day has no memory of the incident. he's in some hospital connected with riker's awaiting trial as the lawye his dad hired (the mom and dad have been divorced for 15 years or so) and the d.a.'s office have been sparring all this time; n.y.'s laws in these matters are incredibly stringent, making it hard to siimply stamp a case like this as 'manslaughter and a sentence of indefinite psychiatric help)....

anyhoo, this will be our first thanksgiving in years without them. their absence will be the 'elephant in the room,' so to speak, and we're just playing it by ear deciding how to acknowledge it when we sit down to dinner. we'll leave it to mom and dad, i suppose. how do you proceed when an episode of friggin' 'law & order' invades your life? how do those cases get resolved in less than an hour, anyway?

 

Double J also holds dual citizenship so he gets two Thanksgivings as well.

An I'm in complete agreement with you in the Christmas vs Thanksgiving debate .

It's only Nov 21 and already I hate Christmas.

 

I'll be here alone too. My mom lives about three hours' drive away, but with teams still in the football playoffs on Friday, the turnaround's a bit too quick. Football and food ... and who knows, I might decide I'm lifeless and hit a pre-Black Friday sale, just for the hell of it