Ten Most Offensive kinds of restaurant behaviour

Wow. You've must have seen this at some point just to think about it and you must have seen this more than once to warrant a post. I think that goes for any place regardless of eatery or elsewhere.

 

As someone who frequently drinks, I expect everyone else to drink with me.

 

Apropos of nothing (and I admittedly am speculating out of my ass here), but I have to think that a restaurant's profit margin on soft drinks rivals booze.

They charge upwards of 3 bucks anymore for a bottomless Dr Pepper. I can't imagine the actual cost of two of them being more than 50 cents.

 

I think it costs three to five cents for 32 ounces of soda from the fountain.

 

Yeah, that post made me laugh out loud. I have never seen anyone vomit on a table at a restaurant. I'm not sure if I would pay to see that spectacle or not.

 

I agree, BB, and normally that's the way I am ... If you have to pay a couple of extra bucks, who really cares?

I used to know one guy who would calculate out his share to the penny and another who inevitably just rounded up the nearest dollar from the actual charge of his meal (basically, no tip). They were a pain in the ass to go out with, too.

I don't usually split the check when I go out with friends because most of them are pretty good about putting in their fair share (our total often ends up with an exorbitant tip because most of us aren't afraid to throw in the extra dollar or two to make sure we've put in enough). But I will next time I go with those two cousins (who are actually cousins of my cousins, whatever that makes them).

 

It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever.". Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad tracks."

 

Talk about a fucking racket. Yowza.

 

The flip side of the kids in restaurants deal is that it can be an important teaching moment in the life of your kids, if you do it right.

One night my wife and I decided to go out to eat at the nicest steakhouse in town, and we simply couldn't find a sitter for our boys, who were 5 and 3 at the time. So...

We got them dressed up in their Sunday suits and took them with us. We told them before we went in what we expected of them, took a deep breath and went inside.

They were perfect little gentlemen, and as we were having dessert (the younger boy earned a slice of cheesecake for cleaning his plate), an older fellow came up to our table and said he was worried when he saw us come in, but that they were the best-behaved kids he'd ever seen in a restaurant.

Needless to say, they got an extra helping of parental praise, and we never had a problem with them acting up in restaurants again.

 

Something I have always wondered, aside from why so few people who bring children to restaurants ever taught them how to behave, is what happens far too often when it's time for the check. It must be something taught in Restaurant 101. That is when the waiter who was so attentive during the meal disappears when you're looking for the bill. I can't count how often my blood pressure starts rising when it takes half an hour or so to track down the person so we can pay and leave. It also does not seem to be exclusive to the better restaurants but happens up and down the scale.

 

I saw it once and that was enough. Poor guy was sitting on the inside seat at a circular corner booth, so there was no way for him to simply get up and make a run for the bathroom.

 

And, of course, the final word on tipping: