Sure signs your company's f'ed

Y'all are cutting a little close to the bone now. Stop it.

 

You get a company newsletter telling you to work smarter, not harder.

 

15. You have photos of the publisher fucking a goat. When you go to the Publisher and tell him you demand a raise or else you're going to expose him, he tells you to go ahead and release them, because there's a better chance of the parent company firing him over giving you a raise than if they discover he fucked a farm animal.

 

I don't think anyone saw that coming...

 

No, but I'm hiding my laughter in here right now.

 

Your photographer is fired and not replaced. They try to pick up the slack with the paper's newest correspondent — the editor-in-chief's spouse.

 

16. You can't laugh about the goat and publisher because you're on furlough and it's illegal to turn on your computer today.

 

17. First rule about furlough, you don't talk about furlough while on furlough.

 

17.Departing staffers aren't replaced, the company restructures its vacation policy, mileage rates are updated each month, and it refuses to even alert people of the false threat of having their cars towed when they park in the company parking lot in order to go to the beauty salon next door.

 

The owner of the paper's wife walks out and takes the entire front office staff with her.

(Not here, but at another place I know)

 

Geez, that was out of left field

 

19. The newspaper moves exclusively to Twitter to save Web hosting costs.