Stirring up a hornets' nest

No, not creating controversy. Literally stirring up a nest of hornets.

I had an appointment Friday in an office building with which I was unfamiliar. I walked past the actual main entrance, which was poorly marked, and tried to go in a side door. Just as I rattled it -- it was locked -- I started getting stung.

There was some construction at a hour next door. Maybe they wandered over from there.

Anyway. I took 3-4 shots to the back of my head, one on my nose, 2-3 on my hand and 2-3 on my arm. I screeched, cursed and ran around slapping at my head like I was on fire.

In the office, the receptionist asked, "are you allergic?"

"I guess I'll find out," I said.

The bites raised welts, but they all went back down in about an hour. They've itched a little after I've gotten out of the shower the last couple of days, but that's about it.

Bastards.

 

Oh no. Did you take any Benadryl?

 

When I was 10, there was a bees' nest in my bedroom wall -- they got in through the chimney. We left for a while, and when we got rid of it the nest was up to 30,000 - 100,000 bees. Luckily I only got stung once.

 

I hate bees, wasps, hornets, etc. That's why I have a big can of Raid at my apartment. Any time those bastards try building a nest on my deck, they get whacked. And there's nothing better than watching them curl up and die.

 

I bet that sounded lovely through the wall.

 

Yes I did ... but a couple of hours later. I still had an appointment to do and they made me wait about an hour or so.

 

That's tough. When I was younger, a friend of mine and I were exploring the remains of what had appeared to be once a burned-down house. He was walking on a plank, ended up putting his foot through it because it was rotten, and bees shot out in full force. Since I was behind him, I was able to run down the street and only got stung probably three or four times. But the kid was red all over and probably had about 15-20 welts from the stings. He was screaming.

Ever since then, I do my best to avoid them. I don't mind getting stung, because it doesn't hurt anymore, but that experience alone pretty much did a good job of saying "Leave us alone."

 

A few years back, I lived on the ground floor of an old-ish apartment. For whatever reasons, wasps loved to build nests on the outside ledge of my bedroom window.

This wouldn't have been a concern, except that they always found ways inside from that window ledge.

Now, during this time of my life, I was sleeping in rather late. This is because the guy who lived above me was an aspiring rapper who for whatever reason couldn't bring himself to rhyme until about 2 a.m. Seriously, I'd be knee deep into some sweet dream involving Tabitha Soren (childhood crush, okay?) when all of a sudden this ingrate would start plinking on his Casio and spitting liquid fire about...something. This would in turn wake his infant son, so my whole night would be an endless cycle of "Even though I work at Arby's/They bump my shit at all the parties...HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!...I dominate like Jordan's fadeaway/I bought these rims on layaway..."

Sorry, got off track. Anyhow, so I'd finally get to bed around 5 a.m., only to wake up to the sound of wasps buzzing around my room at 7 a.m.

Finally, I just bought a big 'ol can of Raid and put it on my bedside table. I'd wake up, roll over, spray the shit out of my room, roll back over and go back to sleep.

None of which could have been good for me.

 

Cell phones are killing all the bees anyway. We'll all be dead in the next decade.

So anyway ... anyone watch Iron Chef America last night?

 

I smell lawsuit! j/k

I have a major phobia of things that sting. In eighth grade, I was attacked by bees that were shacked up in the log pile in our back yard. The next day, me and a buddy went to Wal-Mart and bought 10 cans of Raid, the kind with the long-range spray, like 10 feet. We treated that log pile like an army. I don't think we killed 'em all, but we probably made a few thousand of those bastards pay for attacking me!

 

I was prepared for this story to be snarky, but since the thread is actually about, you know, stirring up a hornet's nest, I guess it'll just have to be a regular story.

I was at a family reunion when I was 13 or 14 and my cousins and I had some fireworks. Someone had gotten stung by a wasp and we found their nest in the ground near the house. We then got the bright idea to light an M-80 firecracker and stuff it into the nest. The black cloud of wasps that poured out of the ground after the boom was the stuff '50s "B" horror movies were made of. I've run faster in my life, but not very often.

The kid on the right sez: "Watch out for wasps!"