Sports party

A sorority is throwing a sports theme party tonight. My buddy is going as a baseball player and I'm going as Scott Boras.

Obviously nobody is going to know exactly who I am, but I'm a tough time with other props and such that would at least let people know I'm an agent. So far I'm wearing my gray suit or tan sport coat and slacks and carrying around a clip board with a piece of paper that says contract at the top in 72 font and the rest of the text is four-point. At the bottom is a line with an "x."

Any ideas for how to better give myself away?

 

Have a huge ego and money coming out of your wallet.

 

Any syringes lying around?

 

Some devil horns, perhaps?

 

If you were going as Drew Rosenhaus, you could overgrease your hair, unbutton your top four buttons, and have fake nasty chest hair curling out.

Just OOZES professional.

 

Rent a Ferrari to arrive in. And watch the pussy line up.

 

It's a grab a date, so we're going with our two females. Mobbing in a 2007 GMC Canyon, because that's how agents and their players roll.

 

Get bucket of slime and cover yourself in it.... people will understand..

 

I ended up going as Frank McCourt, which was even more difficult for people to understand than Scott Boras would have been. There were about a dozen cheerleaders, lots of tennis and volleyball players, a soccer star and some slutty referees, but it all went downhill when the guy who went as a boxer drank a few too many man sodas and decided to live out his costume. He tried to punch the guy who asked him to leave, but ended up accidentally catching a girl in the jaw and sending her crashing through the living room wall.

He didn't stick around for the police and fire department, but neither did we. My night got much better after that, actually.

Lesson: at costume parties, wear something that people won't have to ask what it is.

 

I thought this thread was going to be about "The Sims" ;D

 

Why do I get the feeling that this line is begging for a Boots-esque turn to this thread.

 

I'm a better guy than that.