Sports Editor, Torrington, Ct.

Our newspaper group is looking for a sports editor to take us to the next level. Responsibilities include: - Pagination, staff management and content management for a daily sports section - Pagination and management of the sport sections for several weekly newspapers - Developing a working relationship with community members and sports personalities - Communication and coordination with newsroom editors on a daily basis - Using social media networking tools to grow content and readership

The right candidate will express and demonstrate a willingness to grow and change with a dynamic editorial department, be a sports junkie but not a monk — and be comfortable with new forms of media dissemination. Some experience is required and candidates with some knowledge of Northwest Connecticut will be considered first. Position is salaried and full-time and includes health, dental and vision benefits. Please send a resume and references to jfenster@registercitizen.com.

 

Paging BYH to the white courtesy phone.

Yep, it's a JRC sheet.

 

Ahem.

Our newspaper group (gee I wonder why it isn't identified by name) is looking for a sports editor to (have his soul crushed) take us to the next level (much like rookie ball is the next level from A ball). Responsibilities include: (it would be easier to tell you what you DON'T have to do)- Pagination (better be familiar with Pagemaker!), staff management (i.e. self-management) and content management (cover that local shit!) for a daily sports section (thats a lot of responsibility)- Pagination and management (wait, what the fuck, there's more?!) of the sport sections for several weekly newspapers (let's translate that into JRC speak--lay out and write the muthafuckahs)- Developing a working relationship with community members (that stark raving lunatic who pens six letters to the editor per week) and sports personalities (they prefer to be called COACHES)- Communication ("Hey asshole get off the one fucking computer that has Pagemaker 2.0!!!") and coordination with newsroom editors (plural my ass) on a daily basis (wait I thought it was a weekly?)- Using social media networking tools to grow content (more work for less pay!) and readership (give me a break, the kids aren't reading and the senior citizens don't have computers).

The right candidate will (be committing career suicide) express and demonstrate a willingness to grow (crystal meth, b/c you'll need a second source of income) and change (your career plans) with a dynamic editorial department (OK just fucking stop it), be a sports junkie but not a (real junkie, that will occur fast enough in real time) monk (when was this job ad written, 1872?)— and be comfortable (we really don't give a shit how comfortable you are, this is just impressive sounding verbiage) with new forms of media dissemination (seriously, shut the fuck up, there's a website, just fucking say there's a website). Some experience is (absolutely not) required and candidates with some knowledge of Northwest Connecticut (will be viewed with great pity) will be (the only ones) considered first. Position is salaried (ha ha fuckers you can't put in for overtime!) and full-time (they got that right) and includes (shitty) health, (shitty) dental and (shitty) vision benefits (seriously don't get sick, have a toothache or go blind). Please send a resume and references to jfenster@registercitizen.com. (Good Christ, they actually got rid of their PO Box and fax number)

 

These are ALWAYS worth the price of admission. Always.

 

Tremendous work, BYH. I knew you'd come through.

And I didn't notice it before, but they want the SE to not only paginate and manage the daily paper, but a bunch of weeklies as well? That's two FT jobs right there.

 

Just learned of at least 2 candidates for the job. Tried to provide a concise scouting report, but I should've just deferred to the above! Well done!

 

Worth the wait, sir.

 

That did not suck, BYH.

 

Priceless!

 

BYH -- Bravo my friend. I haven't posted for a while, but I also love these rants. Without a doubt, worth the price of admission. Thank you!

 

Hilarious BYH well done...my condolences to the pour soul who get hired here.

 

Scioscia thinks it's overrated ...