Sports editor, Calhoun, Ga.

Calhoun Times, an award-winning 9,000 circulation, twice-weekly community newspaper, has an immediate opening for a sports editor to head up its coverage of three public high schools and rec league sports in one of Georgia’s fastest growing non-metro areas. If you are an experienced sports editor or have been covering prep sports for two to three years and are ready to take the next step, the Calhoun Times may provide the challenge you want. This job requires writing, editing, photography and pagination, and the successful candidate must be proficient in Microsoft Word, Adobe InDesign and Adobe Photoshop. We’re located on Interstate 75 midway between Atlanta and Chattanooga. Benefits include health insurance and 401K plan. Become part of our family owned newspaper group. Qualified candidates should send a cover letter, resume, and at least five clips to jwillis@calhountimes.com or write John Willis, editor & publisher, Calhoun Times, P.O. Box 8, Calhoun, GA 30701.

 

Boots, don't you have some racist accusations to throw around about this job?

I mean, here's another place where a WHITE editor had just started within the past six months and is already leaving.

Obviously, this HAS to mean they have racist hiring practices, right?

 

I know the folks at the Times. They are good people. We never called anyone racist. Don't start creating shit when there isn't anything to create. You are better than that Dogg. I am so ashamed of you.

 

Boots, just ignore a loser like that.

 

Do you know the 200-year-old sports writer on staff? If so, I'll refrain from sharing stories.

John Willis, the contact for the job, is indeed good people BTW.

 

Wow, a 200-year-old sports writer. Must be on human growth hormone!

 

Boots, I didn't see your seal of approval on this one. What gives?

 

Calhoun is the meth capital of Georgia -- and that's saying something with all of the meth-addicted hillbillies in North Georgia. (I'm eligible to mock, since I live about 45 miles from Calhoun).

 

I didn't think that my seal was needed on every opening but yes, this does have the boots seal of approval.

 

Job openings just aren't the same without that boots seal. You know that.

 

OK. True story. ... Once while en route to cover the SEC men's basketball tournament at the Georgia Dome, I was mistakingly stopped by a Georgia state police rolling road block at the Calhoun exit, cuffed and stuffed in the back of a police cruiser while a K-9 unit searched my vehicle.

Now from the beginning. ... Traffic was backing up on the interstate. ... I dipped two wheels into the inside emergency lane in an attempt to see what was slowing traffic. ... A state trooper in an unmarked cruiser later told me I nearly hit him as he was parked in the emergency lane (total, total lie, by the way). ... As unmarked cruiser "attempted to stop" me "for more than two miles," two other cruisers up ahead of me darted in from the outside emergency lane as if they were going to ram me. ... I made eye contact with one trooper, who pointed for me to pull over. I gave him a look of "me?" and he pointed insistently that I pull over, so I did just that.

Upon pulling over, I was surrounded by six cruisers. ... Troopers approached with guns drawn. ... I opened my door and put my hands out. ... One trooper stuck his Glock between the door frame right in my face and was yelling, "Get out of the f-ing car! Get out of the f-ing car!" ... Terrified, I had forgotten to put the car in park. ... I told the trooper, "Sir, if I take my foot off the brake, the car is going to roll. It's still in drive." ... He yelled for another trooper to open the passenger door and put the car in park.

Once the car was in park, the trooper with the drop on me pulled me out of the car, twisted my arm behind my back and threw me over the trunk. ... I said, "Sir, what's going on?" He said, "We're going to f-ing find out right now," and proceeded to cuff and stuff me in the back of a cruiser.

Once in the back of the cruiser, the trooper asked me if I had any drugs or weapons in the car. I said, "I've never owned a gun nor have I ever done drugs. I've never even smoked a cigarette," all of which is the honest-to-God truth. ... After calling in the K-9 unit -- a pickup truck with coon-dog cages in the back -- I was told the dog hit on marijuana in the car and was asked to consent to a search, which I did.

While the car was being searched, I truly started to worry that something would be planted in the car. I was truly, truly terrified. Perhaps the most scared I've ever been in my life. ... The search, of course, turned up nothing. The trooper who cuffed and stuffed me, though, told me again the dog had hit on marijuana and I was "damn lucky today."

After being let out of the cruiser and uncuffed, I was given two citations -- one for failure to maintain my lane when I dipped into the emergency lane, and one for failing to yield to a blue light. Not failing to stop for a blue light or eluding, but basically failing to pull to the right to allow an emergency vehicle to pass. I wasn't even speeding, so they couldn't give me a speeding ticket.

After checking into my hotel, showering and then arriving at the Georgia Dome, I still had very heavy cuff marks on my wrists to back up the wild story I shared with my colleagues. ... Two weeks later, a Georgia magistrate phoned my house and dropped the citations.

Three things in the whole ordeal have never been answered for me: (1) How could a dog tell a trooper it hit on marijuana specifically? I mean, a dog can't talk. It can only let a trooper know if it has hit on drugs, period; (2) Did the troopers have the wrong guy in a sting? How did so many troopers get to one place in basically two minutes, the time it takes to travel two miles? Were they perhaps looking for someone trafficking drugs in or driving a stolen 1991 Toyota Camry, which happened to be my vehicle and the most-stolen vehicle in America at the time; (3) If the trooper in the unmarked cruiser followed me for two miles and I wasn't speeding, why didn't he pull alongside me and motion for me to pull over?

Anyway, just thought I'd share that story about Calhoun, Ga. As for the paper, I know nothing about it. But with the living hell I went through there, I'd never, ever, never consider working or living in that place.

Peace, love and harmony.

 

Sam,

Obviously, this is why we should never leave the Palmetto State. People in Georgia are nutjobs.