Sociopath: "I'M TOO FAT TO DIE!"

Haha! You sat on the whoopee cushion and it made a farting sound! And then your skin began to bubble and you shit your pants! You've been punk'd!

 

I'm disturbed by the fact that a man on death row could be 5-7 265. How much food is he being given? Does he get to eat as much as he wants? He should be getting enough gruel to insure he's healthy and no more. He's on death row, it shouldn't be the midnight buffet on a cruise.

 

Excellent point.

This should be answered by the warden.

 

Prisoners are typically given a massively high-carb diet.

Makes them docile.

 

PWNED BY THE STATE!

 

This guy is definitely risking his final meal. If I'm the warden, I'd give the guy a Slimfast shake instead.

 

Give him two choices:

1. Die by lethal injection.

2. Strict diet and heavy cardio workouts designed to drop 40-80 pounds over the period of a couple months or so & then die by lethal injection.

Whichever he wants.

 

crap, drugs won't put him to sleep you say? switch it up and bring in an anesthesiologist. standard? no. simple way to erase his complaint and get him in the ground? yup.

(and by God I actually spelled that correctly without spell checker ... shocked when I got the all clear there. must be set for an ok day.)

 

Awesome.

 

That's why you've got to treat your liver well.