So I'm reading my...

city events bulletin that comes with my gas and water bill and this catches my eye.
"Main Event: For the Wrestle Bigcity Title:
Jake the Snake Roberts (with manager Sensational Sheri Martel) vs. who gives a damn.

I dont live in a suburb, I live on the edge of the suburbs in a town of 2,500 and the Community Center is the size of a church gym...

How much have those two fallen to be wrestling here in Hooterville?

 

I thought Jake Roberts was dead.

This would be a step down from that.

 

They've fallen a lot.

But if the tickets are affordable, by all means go.

 

"Just $15 for this once in a lifetime event."

 

I believe you are thinking of Snake Plitkin

 

Residents were also thanked for being great and loyal customers of the Hooterville Gas and Water System.
Not like we had a choice...

 

Oh, it happens. Believe me does it. My friend has a photo of him and the Honky Tonk Man taken at some seedy bar about 40 minutes OUTSIDE of Winnipeg (to know anything about Canada is to know there is VERY LITTLE anywhere outside Winnipeg much less in the province of Manitoba). Honky Tonk is in full costume, but looks like a Vegas Elvis impersonator - impersonating the "later" and "heavier" years of the King, if you will. The costume is, well, snug.

In the photo, Honky Tonk is holding a fresh beer and an old belt he must have won somewhere along the line. If I can find it, I'll post it.

 

That dude is one sad-ass story.
He was conceived when his dad raped his mom, (not his wife).
Roberts has a drug addiction and a daughter he seldom sees.
He was featured in "Beyond the Mat"( If you have any interest in former pro wrestling stars I HIGHLY recommend it). He was wrestling in shithole places, along with Coco B.Ware(sp?), and staying at Days Inn making like $35 bucks a night.
The guy is a loser, but I watched the movie and felt sorry for the poor bastard.
He basically went into self-destruct mode after making big in the WWF.

 

Jake Roberts' biggest two contributions to wrestling:

1. The DDT

2. When he claimed to be born-again and drug free, he was given a second chance by WWE about 10 years ago with a character that touched on both. He wrestled in the final of the 1996 King of the Ring and lost. The winner, in his post-match interview, said this:

"You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16 ... Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!"

And thus started the WWF/E's ascension back to the top of the wrestling world.

Oh, Roberts also wrestled in the main event of the Heroes of Wrestling PPV a few years ago in a Bay St. Louis casino. Drunk. And using his snake as a makeshift phallus and threatening women with it while stumbling to the ring in boots that weren't even laced.

Also, he apparently killed a few of his snakes via cruelty (one froze to death in his trunk, one starved, and that was the one that got him arrested in England).

Also, he does drugs.

 

Didn't Jake find Jesus within the last decade, sometime around when drugs had put him out on the street?

 

I had no idea Jesus was lost.

 

"Beyond the Mat" is a really good documentary, and awfully sad.