Snoop has a dirty mouth

I'm sitting here watching Grey's thanks to Moddy, and an Orbit commercial comes on. Lo and behold -- none other than Calvin Broadus aka Snoop Dogg is on screen pimping some Wrigley's gum.

And all I could think, while sipping a beer, is What the fuck is happening? Did I miss a fucking meeting?

Fifteen years ago this man was a Crip in Long Beach, and now he's whoring gum in a national advertising campaign?

Then I remembered, it all started with Andre Young. About six or seven years ago, Dr. Dre started doing some commercials for Coors Light. No biggie, I thought. It's alcohol. I suppose Phillies doesn't need to advertise for Blunts, so alcohol is the next best thing.

When I was in eighth grade, these were two of the baddest motherfuckers on the Planet Earth, now they're sell-outs. Eric Wright must be rolling over in his grave.

 

OK, time to set the record straight:

I went to junior high with "Snoopy." Really. We had many classes together in 3 years.

His real first name is Cordozar. Cordozar Broadus.

I don't know where the hell this Calvin came from. I'd love for there to be a story on that.

Orbizzle is the shizzle.

 

Cause Calvin is easier to spell?

 

Cor. Do. Zar.

Doesn't seem so hard when you break it down.

 

Don't be so sure. Eazy-E was a proud Republican. There's a photo somewhere of him with the first President Bush.

As bad ass as they try to be, in the end, they're all Republican whores.

 

Break it down? All right, I think I will!

 

"Break it down to the very last compound,
see how it sound,
a little unrational,
a lot of MC's like to use the word dramatical.
Fresh for '88, you suckas!"

[/KRS-1]

 

Funny disclaimer at the bottom of Snoop's Orbit ad:

"Chewing Orbit will not get you into Heaven," or something like that.

 

50 Cent is a republican. 50-fucking-cent.

 

50 Cent also sucks.

 

Yes he does. I am not a huge fan of Jadakiss but some of my favorite rap songs are the ones where he tears 50 to shreds.

 

Snoop was a bad mother fucker for a while. But he's all happy to do his schtick for Madison Avenue. As much as the shitty commercials bug me, I kind of have more of a problem with the porno movies he directed, but that's me.
There was a pretty good AP story that surface right around the time the NFL season started last year, about how he was sponsoring a Pop Warner football team in Compton and how it became a big to-do over there. Like he started his own league because the folks who ran the league were giving him a hard time....