Smut Triumphant!

http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/185530/

Jeebocrat vandals lose a big one.

 

I've got an idea ... instead of trying to remake movies, why don't people just stop watching them? I mean, without a naked Kate Winslett (as listed in the story), Titanic isn't anywhere near as good a movie.

 

Smut!
Give me smut and nothing but
A dirty novel I can't shut
If it's uncut
And unsubt .. tle

I've never quibbled if it was ribald
I would devour where others merely nibbled
As the judge remarked the day that he
Acquitted my Aunt Hortense
"To be smut it must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance"

Por-
Nographic pictures I adore
Indecent magazines galore
I like them more
If they're hard core

[spoken] Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties, samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!

[sung] Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers
Lurid, licentious, and vile
Make me smile
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime
Let's face it, I love slime

All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder
For filth, I'm glad to say, is in
The mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
I could tell you things about Peter Pan
And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man

I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill
And I suppose I always will
If it is swill
And really fil ... thy

Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately
I've got a hobby, rereading Lady Chatterley
But now they're trying to take it all
Away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
We fight for freedom of the press
In other words

Smut, I love it
Ah, the adventures of a slut
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut
I don't know what
Compares with smut

Hip hip hooray
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court
Don't let them take it away

 

Seriously. The only reason I watched Jude was because she was nekkid in that one, too.

 

I'm surprised these thieves made it this far. Blatant disregard for copyright and intellectual property.

I'd condemn them to a lifetime of Titanic, one bigass awful movie.

 

The fucking boat sank in less time than it took to watch that movie.

 

Yeah, after a while I was just yelling at the screen for both of them to jump into the friggin' water and end all of our suffering.

 

This may explain why Wal-Mart doesn't sell edited DVDs. They saw this coming.

 

Not to threadjack, but someone speculated that Wal-Mart edits their DVDs, since they apparently do it with CDs. The difference, of course, is the musicians and record labels probably give their consent for a "cleaned-up" radio version to be sold in tight-butted stores like the big W.

 

I read that thread, too. I agree that's the difference, one is voluntary while the other was never volunteered. Shame on the RIAA for not standing up to the Evil Empire back when it was still an Arkansas mom-and-pop.

And Tipper Gore, too.

 

It's a strange double standard too. Wal-Mart sells the edited versions of 50 Cent albums but the unedited version of his bad movie. Same thing with Eminiem and "8 Mile". You can buy "Kill Bill" at Wal-Mart and any other hyper-violent, oversexed movie released in the past few years.

 

You can also buy the uncut versions of American Pie, Girl Next Door, et.al.