Skittles for a DOLLAR!?!?!

Didn't you also get a spanking?

 

In my day we didn't even have candy. Sugar hadn't been invented yet, and honey was available only to bees, bears and the wealthy. As I operated my treadle at the jute mill, watching the other children drop around me from hypoglycemia and fatigue, I would sometimes pull from the pocket of my tattered gherkin a single morsel of bark from the sweetgum tree near the orphanage. This I snatched from the tree itself as our buckboard rattled past in the cold, black dark before dawn. Chewing surreptitiously with my single remaining tooth so as not to be found out and whipped by the mill foreman, its bitter, vegetable sucrose would imbue my starved and skinny frame with just enough energy to treadle my impossible quota of jute for the day. (Jute was the backbone of our local economy in the days before the British brought the quince to these shores.) Then they would put us back in the cage on the flat of the wagon and drive us home again in the gathering darkness to the orphanage, where we were fed a meal of scavenged building materials and squid ink. I enjoyed the scraps of particle board most of all, because that meant it must be Saturday.

 

Regular size pack, 99 cents. I checked the king size, or whatever it was, and it was 1.59.

Their fountain drinks are incredibly cheap. That is a butt-load of soda for under a dollar.

If a dentist saw this thread, he just went CHA CHING!

 

Outing alert: Buck is really Grandpa Simpson

 

Genius. Sheer genius.