Signs Your Company Is Planning A Layoff

You are covering a game and try to log in to the company system in order to file your story and it says "access denied, please call Joe Schmoe in Human Resources immediately....."

 

You co-worker, who sits next to you at the press box gets a call at the game, he goes pale, then says they want to talk to you as well.

 

You receive an e-mailed update from the CFO telling us that the CEO is out of the hospital after back surgery and is eager to get back to work once he takes a four-month paid leave.

 

There are reporters and editors working in the newsroom.

 

You still have a film critic, a theater critic, a books-section editor and a sports takeout writer on staff, with a real-live bureau somewhere and enough copy editors that someone actually could call in sick and the newspaper still would be published.

 

I have to say ... some of these replies on this thread aren't so funny at all.

 

OK, now you're just talking nonsense.

 

You haven't been laid off yet.

 

One word: Synergy!

 

The only implausible thing is the one about the Yugo...the company president is still driving the BMW...