Should the victims of bullying be punished?

Plus, when your kid punches back, you basically lose all moral high ground in trying to appeal to the school for any help. There are two perpetrators at that point, equal in blame. Kind of like how the guy who throws the second punch in an NBA fight also gets ejected.

 

But my point is, the school has to get involved. Quickly and decisively. There are horror stories of schools that don't get involved, until it's too late.

In my son's case, we were practically begging the district to give him a 1-on-1 aide to intervene if problems arose. They refused constantly, then, agreed as a last resort. It helped, some.

 

I would sacrifice "the moral high ground" to some nitwit" teacher or administrator if it stopped the bullying.

 

They would never listen to you again. And I wouldn't blame them. You would have absolutely no leg to stand on.

 

I think we are not going to see eye to eye on this one.

I think there is a little more grey in the world.

 

It's all good.

I'll revive the thread a few years ago when my kids are in school and see how/if perspective changes.

 

Tough issue, as always.

But enough thoughts from parents whose kids are bullied. How about some thoughts from the parents whose kids are the bullies? I read a lot of tales of bullying on this and other boards yet you never see a parent admitting that their kid is the one being the asshole, the one making life a living hell for another kid.

Come on, not every parent on the board must have a kid who's always this little lamb that's picked on and beaten up. What are those parents telling their kids at home? What can you say to get them to stop their actions, or do you need them to be punched by a Daniel Larussa wannabe?

And not all bullies come from bad homes. When I think about the bullies from my school, yeah, some came from tough home lives. But many others had loving moms and dads or parents who were town leaders. Yet they were slapping the geeks and nerds, pantsing girls and generally running wild. Or they were on the wrestling team.

Parents of bullies: Stop suffering in silence. Tell us about your monsters.

Adults can definitely make a difference. On our sixth grade field trip to the capitol in St. Paul, three of the biggest bullies started picking on a quiet girl as the bus made the hour-drive home. My parents were chaperones and my dad grabbed one of the offenders, sat him down and told him to stay there and shut up the rest of the trip. His henchmen also sat silently the rest of the trip. They left the girl alone but afterward kept telling me they'd beat me up. They didn't though. I was proud of my folks for standing up for Linda. I thought it was the type of thing Charles Ingalls would have done back in the day.

 

STG, like I said, there are two sides to most bullying stories. The parents undoubtedly see it very differently.

 

You simply cannot live in fear and let other people torment you.

You also cannot rely on the school to handle all the problems.

My oldest was being teased by some jerks class in sixth grade and the teacher wouldn't do anything. They finally got to him and he punched one of the kids in the face.

He got suspended for two days. All the other kids got suspended a week and cried in the principal's office.

It was one of those deals as a parent that you wish it was handled differently, but I was glad he hit the kid.