Scrapbooking

Guys, a Holiday tip.

Think giving your girl a scrapbook is a great, thoughtful (read: inexpensive) gift that can take the place of a few other gifts? Think twice.

Scrapbooking is a bitch. Especially when you keep trying to lay out pages like they are the front page of a sports section.

 

Add some helmets.

 

I've only known a few girls who are avid scrapbookers, but that's enough to know there's nothing inexpensive about it. I thought it would be a cheap hobby to support just like you, Bucknutty, but those packs of stickers and miscellaneous design shit cost an arm and a leg.

 

First, never do the damn scrapbook yourself. Are you out of your mind? Buy the shit, hand it to her, tell her it's for her to document your relationship and accept the praise. She doesn't want you to do the book anymore than you want to do it. Oh, she might say she does, but no matter how great the scrapbook is that you hand her, she's gonna go Sauranolopack on it in her mind.

Second, take it from a man who owns a four-bedroom home that has been reduced to three bedrooms because of scrapbooking shit -- it's EXPENSIVE. My wife has a big-ass closet that was designed and built for this crap -- all those little plastic pages, the goofy little stickers and all sorts of shit I won't even attempt to identify. Honest to God, it's like a female version of those tall Craftsman tool chests in there -- at least, it was the last time I looked in there, which was about a year ago. And the room itself ... good Lord. I've purchased two desks (one just wasn't big enough), lamps, tack boards out the ass, more pushpins than a dress maker and so many varities of scissors I can cut shit up from now until the day I die and never once reuse the same pair. (And when I say "I purchased," I mean I either handed her or some guy behind a cash register the debit card and shook my head while reading the receipt.)

But, and this will be the greatest gift I can give any SJ male, this shit makes her happy, and if she's happy, nine times outta 10, dog is happy. She's a reasonable girl who puts up with a lot of crazy shit from me, so if it makes her happy, I tend to do it. And life is good.

 

Hey guys - I know it seems like a dumb question, but what is scrapbooking, exactly?

Can you scrapbook press passes? I've got 10+ years worth of 'em and want to do something cool with them.

 

Do not do this, my friend. Think 'I'm going to learn to sew so I can make my own clothes!' Sounds like a great idea until you realize you've become an unqualified preschool teacher, cutting little shapes and trimmings and gluing stuff on top of stuff, frantically searching for an all-night craft store that carries ladybug stickers.

The press pass idea is good, get a cool photo album, or a giant frame and stick 'em in there.

 

Silly me... All this time I've been giving my wife jewelry...

 

Luggy...my sister owns a scrapbooking business and my mom does it with her on the side. For those who possess the gift, they can create some outstanding pages.

Basically you're using photos, only a couple per page, usually, with graphics, designs, etc. Each page becomes like a storybook, as opposed to a photo album.
I've got one on my desk which shows a photo of my son, then a photo of me at the same age. Three months, eight months, first birthday party, third birthday party, etc. And on each there are written comments, stickers, etc. For instance, on a page of my son sitting in a field of bluebonnets, the background is blue, there's stickers that say, "Look, bluebonnets," and she even pressed a cutting from a bluebonnet for the page.

The designs can be pretty impressive, but like it was mentioned earlier, it's not cheap. Best bet? Give her the photos, the book and the gear and let her go to town.

 

Does anyone else get annoyed at the use of the word scrapbook as a verb?

 

Scrapbooking 101

1. Get neutered.
2. Get frontal Lobotomy.
3. Go to Grandmas

 

Wrestling Fan 101

1. Get frontal lobotomy.
2. Cheer homoerotic males grappling in their undies.
3. Get neutered.