Rolling down I-80 thread ...

I was driving through there on my way to my dad's funeral about eight years ago. I'm spacing out a little somewhere between Roanoke and Harrisonburg, and I zip by one of those breaks in the hills in the median doing close to 80. After driving for about a mile (I was close to an exit, didn't want to stop on the ramp, and accidentally led the cops on a brief slow-speed chase ... the only excuse for what happened next) I pull over. Trooper asks if there was an emergency and, like an idiot, I don't say anything about my dad being on his deathbed.
So the cop writes the ticket and asks me to step out of the car. Explains that he and his partner Deputy Fuckwad are part of a drug interdiction team and they'd like to search my car. I'm feeling a bit of a libertarian streak that morning and say no, they may not search my car. So they break out the, "You were going 81 in a 65; that's reckless driving in this here state, but if you let us look in the trunk we'll knock it down to 80 and you won't have to make a court appearance" card. Since I live 1,000 miles from Virginia, I say go ahead and look.
One of the cops pats me down on the side of the road while the other goes through the trunk and then the interior of the car. Dude rifles through a couple of bags I had in the backseat, and doesn't even zip them up when he's done. As he's going through the car he says, "I smell marijuana." His partner asks me if I've ever smoked marijuana in the car (as if I'd be dumb enough to say yes). I've never smoked pot in my life, let alone in the car, and I'd had the car for about four years at that point so there was no way any pot smell was lingering in the car.
They finally let me go with the ticket and I was on my way. Fuck Virginia, fuck I-81, and fuck Virginia state troopers.

 

He doesn't read it, but his deputy SE does.

(Hi Krup!)

 

That's a big part of my I hate Jersey so much. My best friend and I went to two Warped Tour festivals in a three-day span. So we pretty much stood in the sun for 32 hours getting in the car late on a Sunday night for a five-hour drive. My friend's a moron, so he doesn't know how to drive with one hand and drink juice with the other, so he takes the wheel with his knee and swerves. Sure enough, a cop sees him and pulls us over.

The guy comes up to the car, barking at us and doesn't believe my friend hasn't been drinking. He tells him to get out of the car, then he walks to my door and looks at my eyes and asks if I've been smoking pot. I told him I've never smoked a day in my life, and we were in the sun all day at this concert. He said, "Yeah, right. Your pupils are huge. Get out of the car."

So he does his sobriety tests, and we're good, obviously -- having really never touched drugs in our lives. He then searches the car, finds only the beer our friend gave us packaged in the trunk. He asked me something, and I said, "Sir, all we want to do is get out of New Jersey. Can you point us to the highway?"

I haven't been back since.

 

The only times I've been to New Jersey, someone else drove.

As for Virginia, I hate that state with a passion. I drove 75 there, max.

 

I'll never forget getting pulled over ... and ticketed ... just west of Columbus, Ohio (New Rome, I think) for not having a license plate on the front of my car (in Ohio, they make you have front and back plates). They pulled me out of bumper-to-bumper traffic to do it.

Fucking assholes. Leave the victimless crimes alone, or at the very least, go fucking direct traffic.

 

New Rome, once upon a time the traffic ticket center of Ohio's universe, was dissolved in 2004 by a Franklin County common pleas court judge.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Rome,_Ohio
http://www.newromesucks.com/
http://www.legalaffairs.org/issues/January-February-2005/scene_gagnon_janfeb05.msp

 

YEEEESSSSSSS! FUCK YOU TEN TIMES SIDEWAYS EX-NEW ROME, OHIO!

How does it feel? How does it fucking feel to be dead! You might have got the $45 from me for not having a front license plate on my car, but you couldn't steal my soul, my freedom, my reason for being.

FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOU!

(OK, I might have overreacted to Coffeeman's post)

 

Nah, you're on the road. You deserve it...