Rob Lowe reports Peyton Manning will retire

Um, what?

https://twitter.com/#!/roblowe

"As first reported by former sex-tape star Rob Lowe and confirmed by ESPN's Chris Mortsensen and TNT's David Aldridge, Peyton Manning will retire as quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts."

 

We have learned that Peyton Manning will retire.

In other news, Cam Newton will also retire...after he's done playing, just like Peyton Manning!

 

That is, LIT-er-al-ly, the worst tweet, I have seen, in my life.

 

The deliciousness of Rob Lowe getting this scoop, and what that says about the state of media today, really makes me want to believe this is true. Sorry, Bob.

 

I think Officer Koharski gave him a few too many body cavity searches.

 

I'm not buying it until I hear it from #charliesheen. WINNING!!

 

That was a joke, LTL.

 

I know. I just figured you'd be somewhat bummed if Manning really did retire. I'm not rooting either way, but I am rooting for a ROB LOWE!!!! tweet to be the biggest scoop of the NFL off-season.

 

As a Colts fanboi looser, I've had time to consider the possibility all this blessedly awful season. Certainly, knowing that Andrew Luck is around the corner takes the sting out of an injury-induced Manning retirement. But even if Luck wasn't coming, every indication from Manning himself has been that his healing -- at least enough to play in the NFL again -- might not happen. It's hard to imagine Manning not coming back, but medically it seems like a long shot.

 

I won't believe this news until two more members of the "About Last Night" cast confirm it.

 

This is a scoop, a scoop of pralines and dick.

 

I'd prefer to hear this from Outsiders... C. Thomas Howell just confirmed it. Still waiting on Ralph Macchio.