Rio Olympics 2016: Winners get gold, losers get the runs

Tall and tan and young and lovely
the girl from Ipanema goes trotting

 

The squats event will be fun. Also the clean and jerk.

 

"If they can dye their river green for St. Patrick's Day, why can't they dye it blue the other 364 days?"

 

In other Olympics news, a city with real snow loses out to Beijing for the 2022 Winter Olympics.

 

But that city was in Kazakhstan, so it can't really be any worse than Beijing.

 

Run the yachting races first and have all the boats be like this one:

 

The shitshow that is Rio Olympics has lost its drug testing:

WADA suspends Rio doping control laboratory | Cyclingnews.com

 

I think the runs are going to be Rio Orange slices: All participants get them.

 

With the Russian banned as well. And we haven't even started in on Zika.

 

Olympics are boring now

 

The IOC has been crumbling under a mountain of corruption for decades now. I don't know that corruption is boring, but it certain becomes tiresome. Rio may finally be the IOC's just desserts.

 

You just know that everyone from NBC is sitting back going "Do we really have to go down there?"
From Pinkeye Bob to Dp to Tirico all the way down.