Ric Bucher and his personal deity, Kobe Bryant - Egregious Examples #1 & #2

Here's the link. It's the lede on the front page of ESPN.com

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/dailydime?page=dailydime-061201

Bucher, quite simply, gets giddy like a schoolgirl whenever Bryant's name is mentioned. Bucher also appropriately despises Shaq. If you didn't know better, you'd think Bucher had been one of 'Kobe's guys' in the Lakers' past locker rooms, and was thus shunned by Shaq because the Big Guy knew anything he said could and would be used against him by Bucher to prop up Kobe and denigrate Shaq.

Bucher also recently did a book with Yao Ming, and has been angling for years to be the 'lucky' writer (that is, the winner of the 'most in-the-tank for') whom Kobe selects to be his co-author for the inevitable future Bryant book.

Bucher started his latest "Bryant's Biggest Sycophant" tour last night on ESPN Radio's 'Gamenight.' He just happened, coincidentally of course, to appear on the show when Kobe was having a big game. Today's ESPN piece is no surprise to anyone who's been watching this drama play out the last few years.

Ok, Bucher wants a book deal with Bryant. Yes, he's still mad Shaq and the Heat made him look like a fool after his picking the Mavs in 5 in The Finals (pathetic post-justifications he attempted aside). We can all understand these elements.

But his latest Daily Dime reaches new heights of defensiveness, Kobe-worship and self-caricature. And that's quite an accomplishment for a long-time Bryant supplicant such as Bucher.

First, we're fed the absolute farce that Bucher didn't really want to write about Bryant. An absurd comment on its face, as anyone with a memory can attest. But this mendacity sets the tone for the rest of the breathless column.

Soon thereafter begins Bucher's trained seal act. You mention Kobe, Bucher claps his flippers together harder than he does for anyone else's name. To paraphrase some of the claps:


Kobe is the best player in the league. Kobe is the second best offensive director in the NBA behind only two-time MVP Steve Nash. Why does everyone dislike Kobe, anyway? I mean, it's not like he got himself involved in something stupid like an alleged rape, right? Do not make me use my "iodine-in-the-well" metaphor, either, because I do have that in my arsenal. Yep, learned that at Dartmouth. Why, O why Lord, must I -- Ric Bucher -- be The One to defend Kobe Bryant repeatedly. Has no one else eyes? I'm tired of defending him, really, I am. And all this talk of Lebron and D-Wade is going to hurt my Kobe book's market, and I'm not having any of that. Now I'm going to pull my trump card, and explain away his quitting on his team in game 7 against the Suns in the 2006 playoffs. That's right, he was hurt. Got it? I don't care if he displayed no signs of injury in the rest of the series. He had to get surgery this (2006) summer (after the series ended), duh? So, I say he was hurt in Game 7. That's it. I will not have my future co-author slimed (and de-valued) with the worst taint possible for a pro athlete: a 'quit-on-his-team' guy, a Plaxico Burress. What, you say he did this before? Sacramento? Bah, I say. He must have been hurt then, too. Let me finish up here with an outdated-by-40-years "I Love Lucy" quip to end my tripe. There! Refute that!


Bucher used to be my favorite NBA writer. He knows the game well, and has always gotten excellent access to all the pertinent subjects I cared about in the league. But he's descended, Ahab-like, into a seemingly intensely personal quest to vindicate all things Kobe and get that book deal.

I can't take him seriously any more, because he has too many agendas to fulfill and scores to settle to be able to write objectively. He's become for Kobe what Ahmad Rashad was for Jordan, nothing more.

If Bucher were the captain of a ship, he would now be relieved of command, voluntarily or otherwise: The crew of readers can no longer trust where their captain is taking them with his pen. Detractors, real or imagined, are everywhere, and the captain will see his Kobe vessel to port no matter what, crew be damned.

Thanks, Cap'n Bucher. It was a great ride when you still cared about your crew of readers. Oh, and good luck with getting that book deal. And with your ongoing battle to explain-away Shaq's 4th ring and your brutal pick of the Mavs over the Heat.

 

Re: Cap'n Bucher Once Again Courts Favor of His Personal Diety, Kobe

Wow.

 

Re: Cap'n Ric Bucher Once Again Courts the Favor of His Personal Diety, Kobe

It's Diety.

 

Re: Cap'n Ric Bucher Once Again Courts the Favor of His Personal Diety, Kobe

While that is a horseshit column, I find your level of vehemence a tad disturbing.

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

We both misspelled it, but thanks for the catch. So much for "i before e except after c," huh?

Thanks again.

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

If you think this is a high level of vehemence from this corner, you obviously don't know me. But I get your point.

I detest the current Bucher (like I said, he used to be my favorite) and his transparent motives and vendettas. He has not been properly called on his Kobe-fever over the past several years. I just said what needed to be said.

If you think I sound a tad disturbing, what say you about that column and it's tone? It's a joke - a bad joke - and it's tilting at windmills to boot. Tilting in an unrepentant, angry, and triumphalist way. It's intended to aggressively shout down dissenters to Bucher's opinion. No apologies for my tone: I'm not trying to win anyone's favor, Ric is. Bucher's tripe got the response it deserved.

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

I think that post by RokSki was post - of - the - year material.

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

I think that post by RokSki was jealous piece of shit post of the year.

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

RokSki obviously has some, er, issues. But calling Ric Bucher on the carpet for being a Kobe apologist is a good thing, no matter who does it.

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

The air suddenly smells strangely of cordite and blood.

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

He went to Dartmouth?

 

Re: Ric Bucher once again courts the favor of his personal deity, Kobe Bryant

Ah, the 'jealousy' gambit, refuge of all those who can't attack an argument based on its substance. Thanks for chiming in, Ric.

There are things I know about Bucher which you almost certainly don't know, hyp. I'll do Ralph Waldo H. proud here and show restraint. Suffice to say, jealousy is not an emotion Bucher engenders in me.

:-[ Thanks for the kind words, fmr. I genuinely appreciate them. But you should really thank the grovelling Bucher for this post. Without his years-old pandering to Bryant, this post would never have existed.

RWH, I am just a bit too intense and strident for most, no question about it. The defendant pleads guilty. But, thanks. I think.

Excellent and apropos phrase, FB. I'm sure RWH would agree that's often an apt description of the olfactory landscape when I rear my ugly head.

Yeah, yeah. *sadly shakes his head back and forth* I'm not sure you'll find that fact highly publicized in the Big Green annals in light of his performance these past few years, particularly regarding Bryant. As an alum of one of the colleges in Dartmouth's League, the legacy Bucher now bequeaths to said league is similar to the legacy one begets to a new car when he drives the freshly purchased car out of the dealership for the first time: depreciation. Thanks again, Ric. He's effected the educational equivalent of what happens to your property value when drug dealers move in across the street.