Report: Tiger Woods to return in two weeks

Disagree, only because Tiger's always been about Tiger. And the majors. He wins in April, and all of this shit goes away. And he knows it.

No way, no how is he giving up a Masters when he's healthy and still chasing Nicklaus' record.

 

Isn't there a tournament in Dubai or some other Persian Gulf pesthole in March? That'd be a good place to come back. No freedom of the press.

 

I have no doubt that Tiger is back well before The Masters. No way does he miss The Masters, and the prickly folks that run Augusta National are not going to want the shitstorm of fuss that would be caused by it being Tiger's first tournament back.

The guy's obviously got some problems but he is, first and foremost, a golfer. Getting back to what he does will be a big step in getting his life back to normal -- or at least whatever can pass for closer to normal in his forever-changed life.

 

What a story...he comes back at the Match Play, wins and rubs it in Accenture's faces.
Just picture Pete Rozelle handing the Lombardi Trophy to Al Davis.

 

Yes. And they're playing The Dubai Desert Classic this week.

 

I believe I also remember him saying the greens at Pebble Beach are so bumpy at this time of year that it screws up his putting for weeks if he plays.

 

But will Dubai still hand him a seven-figure appearance fee given his recent behavior?

 

The sultans? Shit, they'd probably make it eight figures. Nine if any of the babes were virgins.

 

No way the Masters is his first tournament back. Wherever Tiger tees it up you can bet there will be thousands of blonde bimbos with fake boobs.

 

Please Tiger, come back, because the sooner you can come back, the sooner you can flame out, and the world will be a better place for it, on account of the fact that golf might take its rightful place, well behind football, basketball and baseball, and behind tennis and hopefully boxing, track and field, lacrosse, anything ....

Country club sports suck.

Tiger Woods, I got three words for you, no, wait, it's just an acronym:

TMZ.

And they ain't going anywhere. Except the tee box, the practice range, the, uh, 19th hole ....

I can dig it.

 

I'm not sure there's a Nielsen number high enough to register the viewership should he be in the hunt on Sunday at Augusta.

 

As opposed to all the other guys who, I guess, are only looking for a week of fun and sun each time out.