Random, 1 line observations aka a Larry King column

Nothing beats a good bowel movement in the morning, folks. And then I like my oatmeal.

 

That LeBron James is a good ballplayer, but know who was really good? Bob Cousy.

 

I don't care what anyone says, that Ben Vereen is a five-tool entertainer.

 

is it just me or do you miss pubic hair on women too?

 

I should floss more often.

 

Of all the fine Americans in wheelchairs, I'd go to war with Charles Krauthammer. He's a hellion! ... Fuss all you want about Trump, folks, but I'd bang his wife and you would, too. ... Doesn't anyone make a good lime rickey anymore? Call me. ... These new Jockeys are awfully tight on the balls. You hear me, China?... I'm all out of cheese puffs again. ... Don't miss my dentist, but I wish I had those teeth back. ... Finally, where's Stallone? We need more Rambo around here.

 

For my money, there's no better impressionist than Fred Travelena. Great singer too!

 

I like to meditate on 1 line observations.

 

Twist my arm and I'll say it: I miss Wife No. Two the most. No, Six. Three!

 

A divorce lawyer who doesn't care enough about his appearance to wear suspenders won't get my business a second time.

 

Look for Jan-Michael Vincent to make a big comeback. That young man has talent with a capital T!

 

David Hasselhoff ... Better singer or actor?