Quitting the bottle

For various reasons - financial, growing up, not feeling road weary all the time - I've made a decision recently to begin phasing alcohol out of my life other than an occasional beer, perhaps. I'm not an alcoholic or anything by any means, but just kind of feel ready to move further away from the wild single days of all-night binging, etc.

The toughest part seems to be the social pressure, even at our age. Last night, I ordered a Diet Coke with some friends in a bar rather than a drink, and of course came the, "A Coke???" questions. It's almost like you have to explain yourself because you aren't drinking, perhaps because for so long, I was always one who did.

Anyone else go through this? Do people eventually get over it? Did you yourself get over the pressure and just learn to politely tell people you aren't drinking tonight and not feel compelled to offer a reason?

Looking for some moral support and advice. Please tell me it's not a shameful thing to cut back.

 

it's not shameful. it just takes willpower like changing your lifestyle to be healthier. when someone says 'dude, you got a diet coke? what a geek' just learn to smile, make a joke and change the subject.

or get new friends. seriously. if quitting is that important and they're enabling, then decide which is more important - quitting or keeping the friends.

 

Nothing shameful about it. In fact, years from now you will be glad you did. The price you may pay is not going to the bar with friends, at least not as often, but if that's the price, it's worth it. You will learn that most of what happens there means little to your life in the long run.

 

The other thing is that it seems the older I get, the smaller that the pool of people who I actually enjoy drinking with becomes. My close college friends, I'll always be able to drink with those guys in our periodical get-togethers. Everybody else? Just seems to interest me less and less.

 

The majority of people come to the same conclusion, just seems you've come to it before your friends. I would suspect most will be doing the same eventually.

I have no idea how old you are, but I'm guessing pushing 30, or early 30s. Like you, I "partied hard", (and I hate that expression now) but found I gained more satisfaction working without a hangover than with one.
I still go out with my buddies and tie one on now and then, but I pick the time, the crowd doesn't.
If they are true friends, they are just giving you the gears because you are being overt about self-improvement, and in essence, have rejected their status quo. They'll get over it and accept, if not join you.

 

Nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing at all.

I drink. But there have been and will be plenty of times I meet my friends out and just don't feel like drinking. My standard lines are...

"Just not feeling it tonight."
"I'm driving."
"Got stuff to do in the morning."
"You know, a (Coke, water, Red Bull) just sounded good to me."

 

It sounds like you are becoming comfortable with yourself and not worrying about what anyone else thinks.

Its a very healthy and liberating attitude to have.In the end your friends will respect you more and if they don't find new friends.

 

You will find out who your friends are. There have been a couple of times in my life -- once in high school, once in my mid-20s -- when I made similar decisions to the one you're making. Changing your lifestyle and losing "friends" is never easy. But if you think it's worth it, stick with it.

I didn't drink from the time I was 24 to the time I was 32, but I had someone in my life who didn't drink either and that helped as well.

If you have friends or relatives that don't drink or, even better, have quit drinking, seek their advice on how they handled it.

Good luck.

 

I went through a few years of never drinking....I was really obsessed with fitness and training and will power and health, and just stopped drinking. Loved it.

No one cares--unless you make a big deal about it, like people who stop eating meat or suck down raw eggs and need you to do the same. Otherwise, a club soda can easily look like a vodka tonic, and no one will notice or care either way.

And as Boom said, if your friends DO care...get some new friends.

 

I've driven 21 to drink again but that's for another day.

In moderation there is nothing wrong with alcohol. As you get older you'll find that your tastes are more sophiscated. 21 used to let me lick Cuervo 1800 off varios parts of her body, now we've switch to Grey Goose.

What you will find is that you will be just as happy enjoying a few Grey Goose on the rocks or a Jameson or two instead of knocking back 22 beers.

 

Pallister - what happened at 32?

Oh, and scribebaseball - good luck. Everyone seems to have the same message - get new friends if they don't like the fact you're making a decision that helps you in the end.

 

Divorce.