Proud Dad Moment. Son starts dating.

A cursory, non-Cheers Google search reveals nothing remarkable about Bebe Neuwirth.

 

Great story. Any chance his last name was Mathers?

 

Nah, this guy was more of the Hooterville hillbilly type than the 8-Mile Road hood rat.

 

I'm not sure what we would have done if this yokel had come out from under the hood ready and able to fight.

We each outsized him by about six inches and 75 pounds so we figured we could take him pretty easy 2-on-1.

The whole game plan was that it was never going to escalate into a "fight," we were going to 'shock and awe' him right into the ground before his mind could even register, "um hey, these fellas seem upset." In any case he was down for the count before he could even get his paws up.

We had the advantage of superior intel that Sis had reported he always spent the mid-afternoons alone at the trailer drinking beer and "working" on his POS car before his 'still in school' buds showed up about 4. So we were fairly confident we weren't walking into a 2-on-8 trap.

 

It does beg the question, how did your sister even consider dating this low life?

 

Stealing a man's beer is over the line, StarBros.

 

Oh, god, don't get started. He was an opposing fan at some all-day HS softball tournament she played in, one of those 16-hour deals where every team is sitting around idle for 9 of those hours. Somehow she got roped in and a furious 4-week "courtship" ensued. It was her first serious dating deal and, she said, "she did everything wrong, except one thing." (Thank god for that.)

The next school year (her senior year) she took up with a college freshman going to school in town. He turned out to be OK; they celebrate their 20th anniversary next July (they lived together off and on for several years in college).

Nah, we thought the beer stealing was just the dramatic ribbon on top this story deserved. As we drove away, we talked about how we should have stopped and pissed on his mag wheels before we hit the road.

It was great; we were driving down the deserted farm roads of Hooterville County in late afternoon. We were both kinda parched after our ass-kicking duties, so we slugged down those four beers pretty quick (they weren't ice cold but still reasonably cool) and hurled the cans into the wheatfields and cranked up the BRUUUUCE!!

Drivin' out, of Hooterville County, me and StarBro on the 19th of May.
Drivin' out, of Hooterville County, kickin' a mook's ass on a bright sunny day.
We drove out, from Starrville City, cause this fucker was slappin' our sister around.
We arrived, in Hooterville County, and kicked his scrawny ass straight into the ground.
We drove 45 miles without seeing a cop,
We drank all of his beers and bought more at the Pop Shop,
Shout bamalama, Sha-la-la, la-la-la-la-la, Sha-la-la, la-la la laaa..

 

She has a you-can't-handle-this smile, sexy voice and moves like a dancer.

6

 

Quite the day.

Apparently the girl reached for our son's hand as they left the movie on Saturday. Our son, who is pretty good at social media and understands PR value as an eighth grader, was happy to parade her past the other middle and high school students waiting in line for the late movies.

His baseball teammates give him ribbing yesterday as word spreads on Instagram from her little friends. Then today she shows up for his soccer game after school to root. She walks over to chat with me for a couple minutes and says her dad is picking her up late. Dad shows up and we sit in the stands for the second half. The girl walks over after the game and talks to our son as he's getting out of his goalie gear.

Dad tells me he's not exactly thrilled his daughter is at this age where dating comes into play but that he's pleased it's our son and that he was a gentleman on Saturday.

This guy has four daughters and no sons. I'll always defer to his judgment on this.

The coming of age part is funny in that he walks around first base and the soccer pitch like he's a boss now. All because of this.

 

Just watch out if she has two brothers wearing trench coats.

 

You think he's boss now, wait till he starts moving around 2B

 

I've had to steer my wife away from c-blocking my son a couple times. She is a substitute teacher, so she knows a lot of his classmates and wants to sat hi. I had to point out not to break in when he's talking to girls.