Power Up . . . On Cow Poop!

A company has created a machine that turns cow manure into electricity.

http://www.cbc.ca/consumer/story/2009/04/15/ot-090415-manure-digester.html

I'm telling you, if private firms are coming up with this stuff, the governments of the world already have the solution to our energy problems.

 

Coming to a Dave Barry column near you.

 

Where is writing irish? This could be a Cowshitistan exclusive!

 

um.... of course they do. But it's been the unholy alliance of government/car industry/oil companies that have held off truly innovative energy production.

 

So if the Tannen family nightmare comes true and manure becomes an important renewable energy source, what are the odds we'll see:

A) A surge in converts to Hinduism, or
B) McDonald's declared a threat to national security?

 

Yes, this has the ability to increase Cowshitistan's ability to supply the world with energy. Add the thousands of tons of cowshit from our feedlots to the oil and natural gas in the earth here and you have a powerhouse of power.

We grow the grain, we raise the beef, we drill the oil that keeps the rest of y'all driving around in your ugly SUVs and eating hamburgers. We feed the fat and fuel the wasteful. We rule!

Of course, it's not as cost-efficient a way to make electricity as, say, burning coal. But feedlots and dairies are moving to buy methane digesters so that they can at least be close to self-sufficient with their power needs. It's good deal in the states that allow micro-producers of electricity to hook up to the grid. If you're making more power than you're using, your meter spins backwards and you get credit! That's a happy sight to some poor bastard who's trying to make a living off of something unpredictable like agriculture.

Problem is, the digesters are insanely expensive- well beyond the means of small feedlots, hog barns and dairies. Maybe our new socialist overlords will give ag producers tax credits for buying methane digesters. Carbon credits are nice, but they're pennies in the bucket.

 

I, for one, can't wait for Mr. Fusion.

 

So, we need pooper scoopers for the cars that run on, um, shit?