Ponce de Le-Copperfield

The man who made the Statue of Liberty appear to vanish may soon claim to do the same for unsightly bags and wrinkles.

Master illusionist David Copperfield says he has found the "Fountain of Youth" in the southern Bahamas, amid a cluster of four tiny islands he recently bought for $65 million.


http://www.smh.com.au/news/people/ive-found-fountain-of-youth/2006/08/16/1155407873844.html

 

Dear David,

While it was fun while it lasted, I'm not coming back to you. Not in a million years. Never. Nothing you can do could rekindle what we once had.

Love,

Claudia

 

lmao

 

Dear Money-grubber Claudia,

You can't visit my $65 million set of islands. And no, you can't visit my Fountain of Youth.

Sincerely,

David

P.S. If you'd just once allowed me to go  ATM once when we were together, I might be more forgiving.

 

Freelance Hack's SportsJournalists.com career has just hit its nadir.

 

Dear Mr. Copperfield:

I, too, read Jimmy Buffett's novel. However, I wasn't dumb enough to believe the real estate agent who told me I could buy the "islands where it took place."

Good luck with that. If you see the Cosmic Muffin, say "hi" to Desdemona for me.

Sincerely,

2muchcoffeeman

 

Dear Mr. Copperfield,

If it is true that you found the fountain of youth, I surmise that one of the consequences is that your career will continue well past the date God intended for you to kick it.

This news has convinced me that a bullet in my brain is the only solution for such a circumstance.

See you in hell (eventually),
Bubbler

 

Dear Mr. Copperfield,

It may be a little late, but could you help out a fellow magician by sprinkling some of that magic water over here?

 

It's the fountain of youth, not the "fountain to cure dorkiness."