Please share your best MLB trash-talking stories

I'm tellin' ya, this one is a tough one. Damn union makes everyone so civilized, they get a talking-to if they so much as even glance into the other team's dugout.

I'm sure our esoteric bunch has a few, though. Please fire away.

 

How's your wife and my kids?

Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down a run and you've got the chance to be the hero on national television... if you don't blow it. Saw your wife last night. Great little dancer. That guy she was with? I'm sure he's a close personal friend, but tell me, what was he doing with her panties on his head?

 

Most of the trash talk I've heard has been between teammates.

 

Excellent point, that one. I guess I'm wondering why there is so little. I guess the threat of having a 95-mph fastball thrown at your head would be a deterrent, but I don't imagine having a 350-pound tub o' lard falling on your head would be any great picnic, either.

 

I think it's more prevalent in other sports because of proximity. Football guys are crashing into each other all the time and winding up piled atop each other.

Basketball guys and hockey guys shadow each other through the whole game.

Hell, baseball doesn't even have all its players in the same place. There are probably 10 in the bullpen, and I've covered teams where the non-working starting pitchers wouldn't leave the clubhouse, especially when it was very hot or cold or they were very hung over.