Pickup lines that work most of the time

OK pimps and pimpettes. Give us your best lines that work almost all the time.

 

"Care to come over to my place so I can pump you in the ass and let a whole message board know about it?"

 

I put this on the Bad Pickup Lines thread, but it actually works surprisingly well for my cousin:

"You're fat. Kill yourself."

 

Pick-up lines don't work. And if they do, its the picker-upper, not the line.

 

Speak for yourself. The following line is always good for a response:
"Are you cold or just happy to see me?"

 

"$20? Sure, hop in."

 

I rest my case.

Or, as Butthead said, on your face.

Speak for myself? That was my point.

I read or heard or whatever that Tommy Lee introduced himself to Pamela Anderson by walking up to her and licking her face. That worked.

Wouldn't work for me.

 

I've found this one always works:

"Are you sure you want that ninth Long Island Iced Tea?"

 

Can you dislocate your jaw?

Can I?

 

I've heard this one works great in Cleveland:

"Hi. My name is Grady Sizemore."

 

"If you closed your eyes, you can imagine me as Brad Pitt."

 

Mi nombre es Brady Anderson.