Pickup lines that never, ever work

He can't say that now.
;D

 

Me lay, you lay? (from M*A*S*H)

 

In that case, the boot to the nads was warranted.

 

Guy: "Hey, want to play army?"
Girl: "Huh? What's that?"
Guy: "I lay down and you blow the sh*t out of me."

 

Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Gal: "No."
Guy: "That's okay. I have to take a shit, anyway."

 

when i wwas covering the cosmos back in '82, steve moyers would lay a rap on a woman. if she said she was married, he'd ask, "do you cheat on your husband?"

if she laughed but said no, he'd say, "mind if i do?" ;D ;D ;D

 

Being single sucks for both genders. Women become callous because of some many hammerheads, which bitches it up for those of us who, you know, really would like them to pass us the ashtray.

 

no question. women can at least laugh at dickheads embarrassing attempts to hit on them. i feel for the poor schmucks who muster the courage to give it a try but keep getting swiped down.

 

This, Cadet, is why so many men are, and I quote, fucking pansies. After a dude misses the first 10 shots from the floor, there ain't gonna be an 11th.

 

This, Cadet, is why so many men are, and I quote, fucking pansies. After a dude misses the first 10 shots from the floor, there ain't gonna be an 11th.
which brings us back to the motto i've passed on to my three sons: "learn to thrive on rejection." ;D ;D ;D

 

Let's play witch. I'll be the broomstick, and you can ride me.

 

"Hey, sweetie, ever seen a dicksnort?"