Pets?

I'm pretty sure Shep would eat Maggie, who is sprawled on my lap as I type. She'd sniff him in a friendly gesture and he'd devour her in one gulp.

Casey would give a good fight though.

 

Actually, he's kind of dumb. He can tear apart a coyote but he'd probably get his ass kicked by a cat.

 

One cat. She bites me every day and would eat my dead carcass in an instant if she could. But I love her anyways. Best damn idea my girlfriend ever had.

 

My cat wouldn't stoop to eat me. I'm not good enough for him. He gets an attitude if I leave even a smidgen of mayonaise on a piece of turkey from my sandwich.

 

My late, great hero, Jake. I thought he would live forever, and he damn near did:



My new boy, Toby, who I love like crazy. He's not burdened with an abundance of intelligence, but he's as sweet as any dog I've ever met.

 

Toby's my kinda dog. I like me a good nawin' stick too.

 

A 15-pound deaf beast named Franklin who showed up at my folks house begging about three years ago.

I got stranded in the snow last week and almost cried when I had to call the vet's office and tell them to keep him another day.

He sleeps on me. Not by me. Not against me. On me.

And, regarding cats v. dogs, it's just different. Someday when I have a house I'll have a dog. But I'm inherently suspicious of unconditional love. Cats make you work for it. I can respect that.

 

Yeah, he likes a good stick. But mostly he just runs, all the time. He'll fetch a ball as far as I can throw it 100 times and run as hard after the last one as the first one. Skinny as a rail, even on super high-calorie food. He must burn 10,000 calories a day.

 

Dammit, Shep won't fetch. He's by no means a retriever. He's a shepherding dog ... so he'll play 'chase' but definitely not 'fetch.' Matter of fact, if I throw a stick, he gives me a particularly indignant look and walks in the other direction.

 

Man, I thought having our 6.5 pound cat sleep on me was uncomfortable.

 

It's earned unconditional love. If that makes any sense.

 

Unconditionable love until you put that plate of food down for the cat to eat ...