Panic on the streets of Birmingham

My first thought was, "Oh, shit, the UAB football team is horny and once again headed for an elementary school."

 

Ouch.

 

Growing up in Louisville, this was the problem. We rarely got *just* two inches of snow. It was always two inches of snow with a half-inch, or more, of ice underneath and on top. And when that happens, it doesn't matter how experienced you are or what kind of car you have, driving is really hard.

Last year, I was driving through downtown after a minimal snowfall. I took a friend to work because his car was in the shop. On my way back, I got into a wreck. I was doing no more than 15 mph, going from one red light to another. But when I merged into the turning lane and began to brake, my car just started sliding. I was 100 yards from the next car and knew I was going into the back of it. The damage was minimal -- I was barely moving by the time I slid into it -- but it was impossible to stop. I grew up driving in conditions like that, I knew not to slam the brakes. But even just tapping and pumping didn't work.

It doesn't matter how many snowplows or salt trucks you have either, because even if the ice melts during the day, the roads freeze over each night.

 

Not this northerner. Give me heat!!

 

Let me note that your name is very appropriate for this discussion.

 

Number One rule of driving on snow or ice: SLOW DOWN!!

Follow that and most of the other things take care of themselves.

P.S. Rule Number Two: Hang up and drive with both hands on the wheel!

 

Rule No. 3: Don't tailgate me if I'm slowing down in my 19-year-old Accord just because you're driving a 4WD Chevy Subdivision and think you own the road. I don't want to dig you out of a ditch, but I don't want to dig myself out of one because of your stupidity and impatience.

 

Also, avoid stepping on the brake and changing lanes. Drive slow and steady and leave tons of room all around you. I attribute my getting home safely after driving on horribly icy roads and past dozens of accidents to keeping the car in low gear and braking as little as possible.

 

We have the months of March and April for that further north. A debilitating ice storm right around Easter is a yearly ritual...right when the salt reserves for most counties are running low, too.

Speaking of which...do they have salt reserves built into the budget or ready south of the Mason-Dixon line, or do they have to scramble to get it?

 

My first thought was "OFFICER! THEY'RE LOOTING THE FOOD KING!!!"

Saban taking the Michigan job is as likely as Lane Kiffin winning a humility contest....

 

Salt is a rumor south of the Tennessee border. Alabama puts down sand on the roads, presumably in case you want to play volleyball while waiting for the roads to become passable.

 

True story: Last year, we went to a friend's house to watch the BCS game. It was a little icy and slippery and he went to put salt out. I got there and he asked what kind of salt to use.
"I put out table salt, but it didn't seem to do any good."
I told him to dig the ice cream salt on the porch and walk.