Overheard from press row

I was covering one of the Big Monday games this week, and an ESPN photographer got the student section sitting behind the media riled up for a shot. As he was walking off, a student yells after him, "Thank you, Mr. TV. Guy." Then to a friend beside him, he says, "We are so getting laid tonight."

I'm not sure how 10 seconds of TV time was going to get him laid, but I thought it was funny.

 

Maybe they were going to lay each other.

 

I hadn't thought about that.

 

Several years ago, I was on the sideline of a football game with Jill Arrington, who was sipping from a 20 ounce soda bottle. She finished it and tossed it in the garbage.

A student leaned over, and told me he would give me $20 if I got the bottle for him.

I politely declined.

 

Growing up as a kid I always loved "crazy college guy on TV." Once I got to college I realized they were social pariahs.

 

$30 offer to me would have done it.

 

I'm not going to lie. I thought about it for about a second.

 

I think "swapping spit" has a rather different meaning.

 

Translation:

We are so gonna try and get laid tonight. We'll take our self proclaimed newfound celebrity to the most overcrowded local hangout and try to parlay that with the women.

First, we'll work it on the hot women that are so out of our league and see if we can strike magic there. After we're rejected (and quickly) by that crowd, we'll have a few more beers and a shot or two and re-group on the notch lower girls. A few more drinks, some brief conversation, and the same result.

Then, we'll really get our drunk on with several more beer and shots, firmly place on the beer goggles and try to interest anything, relatively human, that moves that has a vagina. At this point, we'll be so wasted that we're sure to say something to screw up our chances even with the chick who is only slightly better looking than the ex-marine janitor for our dorm hall.

Then, we'll go home and jack off.

 

FAME (for males) = Getting Laid

Back in the '90s my buddy's roommate won the SF Comedy Contest. He admitted in his act that he was one ugly dude, which I did not disagree with.

One night, caught his act with my buddy and he said let's go say hi on the side of the stage after the act. Walking up and the comedian is swarmed by women with that fawning look. They were around 5-10 deep around him. At that point, I realized what a little fame will do for your social life.

 

I thought sex was illegal at the school you cover.

 

So you've had this experience Capt?