Our state fair is a great state fair!

When a sailor back in the '50s was transferred from, say, Key West to San Diego, the Navy would get him there, but his wife and kids were on their own. (May well still be that way -- I don't know.)

So while doing the drive cross-country herself, but with baby and toddler(s) in the car, young Mrs. Ensign would turn to the Navy's one eternal ally, and splash some rum into that baby bottle along with the formula.

And before anyone starts getting smug about how much smarter we are today, plenty of my friends would have never dreamed of taking their young children on a plane without Benadryl.

 

Man, I want me some corndogs right now. I could eat 50 without blinking.

Alsups corndogs are quite simply, ravishing.

 

Ravishing?

 

Hmmm, I was thinking of a girl when I wrote that.

What's a better word, scrumdidliumcious?

 

The radio jingle for the Oregon state fair a few years ago was a kind of bluegrass number, and the chick singing said they had a "big ol' bear" at the fair. She lied.

But they did have a huge fucking boar. Cost 50 cents to take a gander at him. All he did, all 1,200 pounds of him, was just lay there in his pen. He wasn't Hogzilla, but he was a big fucker.

 

I'm surprised she was that classy. A mom like that, I'd think, would just pour her kid a Bud Light.