OnTheRiver's birthday wishlist

So I'm a year older today. The wife bought me one of those small refrigerators for my office (all the better to keep my beer cold) and the kids bought me a nice St. Louis Cardinals jacket.

If it pleases the SportsJournalists.com community, I have a wishlist of things I'd like from the folks here.

From Moddy: A couple more stars ... just for one day. And maybe a title like "Official SportsJournalists.com Beer-Drinking Champion."

From Bubbler: A short commentary on Evansville that includes the phrase "sucks out loud."

From Sportschick: A reference to my dead-sexy nature. (I think it's the least you can do, what with the Grippos I FedEx'd out to Hilljack Country for you)

From Clubber Slang: One post about laying pipe in my mother.

From Spnited: Tell me about my great-great-great grandfather. I never met him.

Also from Moddy: You still got that link with those two young ladies looking for something in the lake? I could really go for that.

From BYH: An admission that YOU were the guy in the infamous Asian Dong photo.

That'd be a hell of a good birthday.

 

Happy Birthday, OTR!

And many, many, many more.

Now, where's your AARP card?

 

Thanks, Mark and Moddy...

1.) I'm a long, long way from AARP. (Thankfully).

2.) Moddy — thanks for making an effort on that link. I just hope we can help those poor young things find whatever it is they're looking for.

 

OTR,

I'd like to make your birthday a happy one, but I stay above the city vs. city scraps.

For example, I'd never suggest that Evansville took all of the worst aspects of my current home city, made them much bigger and more sprawled out, added more crime, industrial and urban blight, and put them closer to that close-to-God, Athenian center of higher thinking otherwise known as Henderson, Ky.

Because to do so, would be to suggest that Evansville sucks out loud.

I could also say the Purple Aces suck out loud, and while potentially true, the fact remains that the Division I team I cover gives me no room to talk trash right now. I'm likely going to spend a whole year chronicling suck out loudedness.

Happy birthday!

 

I take offense to this. I think I would at least like to share the title as "Official SportsJournalists.com Beer-Drinking Champion.

Happy Birthday, though.

 

Happy birthday, you sexy beast!
And Grippos fucking rawk!!!!

 

What's the deal, Moddy.

Make with the link.

 

What the deuce are Grippos?

And happy birthday OTR.

 

You're in Kentucky and you don't know them? I could've sworn they were for sale down there, too.

They're barbecue chips. And the finest ones God ever guided into creation, too.

 

I think my brother would kill a man for a bag of Grippos.